how was I going to keep up with him? I didn’t want to let him down, not again.
Part of me wanted so desperately to keep him as he was now, content and sleeping, stretched out and safe in his cot.
But another part of me ached to see the man he would become. With each day that passed he was beginning to look more and more like his father. What sort of man would he be when he grew up?
A quiet knock on the door drew my attention and I crept from the room and out into the waiting arms of David.
“I want you to tell me everything,” I said, not waiting for him to speak.
I’d waited long enough, I needed to know that it would all soon be over. I needed to believe that the Banks hold on us would soon be at an end.
“There’s not much to tell.”
“There’s enough, we spoke about this, David, you promised we would do this together,” I said.
“And you promised you would rest,” he said steering me away from Jenson’s room and down the hall to the master suite.
I let him lead me away and I didn’t fight him, it seemed pointless anyway. I couldn’t explain to him why I didn’t want to rest, he wasn’t going to understand it.
He guided me into the room, pushing open the room with his free hand and escorting me inside. I froze, my heart skipping a beat as I stared around at my surroundings. The bed was covered with rose petals, their deep crimson, a carpet of colour across the bedcovers.
There was a fire in the huge marble fireplace. We’d always planned on lighting it, making love in front of it but with Jenson and everything there just never seemed to be that sort of time. David had spread a huge tartan blanket out in front of the fire, a picnic basket overflowed with all the foods that would normally have caused my mouth to start watering.
He stared at me, his gaze expectant as he watched my expression.
Tears filled my eyes and I buried my face in my hands, suddenly unable to prevent the emotion that washed over me. He’d done all of this for me, despite everything that was going on, he’d prepared all of this and all I could do was cry.
“Carrie, what’s wrong? Don’t cry my love, it’s all right, please, don’t cry,” he said, wrapping his arms around me and drawing me in against his chest.
But I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. I wanted so desperately to be strong, to pull myself together and pretend that everything was just fine but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d nearly cost us everything we’d worked so hard for, how could everything ever be the same again?
“Talk to me,” he pressed his fingers beneath my chin, tilting my head back so he could stare into my eyes.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, I know you want me to sit back and let you handle it all but I just don’t know if I’m capable of that anymore, David.” My voice was a choked and sobbing mess but I managed to get my words out.
“I want you to be who you’ve always been, I know you’re not the type to simply sit back and allow things to happen around you and I would never ask you to do that.”
“But you are, that’s exactly what is expected of me and I just don’t know if I can do that.”
“I worry about you, I worry about what all of this is doing to our child and I all I want is for you both to be safe,” he said gruffly.
He pulled out of my arms and crossed the room to stare out the bedroom window. I could see from the set of his shoulders the tension that flowed through him. But he wasn’t sharing his true thoughts with me, he wasn’t telling me what was really going on. And it was something I needed to know, something I deserved to know.
“And I want to be safe too but they took me, they threatened my life and they nearly killed my child, that’s not something I can just ignore.”
He turned then, the anger in his face surprising me as he strode across the room and grabbed my arms.
“I know what they did, I know I failed, I couldn’t protect you and because of my