Free Defender of the Empire: Cadet #1 by Catherine Beery

was a quick, ground covering walk. Had to get to the doors before she changed her mind.
     
    Chapter 6- The Weed in the Garden
                 
                  The line that led to the barracks took me from the administration building and to the left of the circle about the garden away from the landing pad. The sidewalk slipped between two buildings. As the map had implied, the Academy grounds stretched out from the garden center. According to the map, there was only one barracks on the grounds. I figured that meant it must be huge considering that this was the Legion Fleet’s main training facility. There were probably hundreds, if not thousands, of trainees.
    Of those, I only saw a few in the distance jogging around the training yard. There were a couple pairs that were facing off with some sort of staff weapons in the yard. I figured it was lucky that they were off over there, away from me and my destination.
    I won’t lie, I was nervous. Terrified really. History wise, I was the first colonist to walk these grounds. But more personally I didn’t know anyone and I was alone. Aunt Sylvia… my hands trembled and I clutched my uniform bundle to my chest. I couldn’t think about her just now. I smile ironically to myself. I hadn’t thought about Aunt Sylvie for a long time, mostly because I had to push the grief away in order to survive. Even on the Hail Mary I could not let myself relax as I was still on edge. Being locked up in a that tiny shuttle with Admiral Knight must have pushed me over the edge because it seemed that every time I turned around I was thinking about my aunt and my life back on Lenti.
    To verify my reasoning another memory found its way through the cracks. “You cannot bottle up your emotions, Rylynn.” My aunt had said once when she was trying to figure out why I was hiding in my tiny closet. I hadn’t wanted to tell her that Ace and Carden had once again verbally attacked me. It was before they had decided to beat me for fun. The verbal attacks had always been the worse because they cut deeper than anything the boys could do to me physically. Bones and skin heal eventually. A mental wound was easily reopened by just remembering it. You couldn’t defend against it either.
    I had come to the conclusion that Carden and Ace liked to see me cry. So I was trying to keep from crying. I had taken all the hurt and locked it deep inside. Coming home I found that I couldn’t let it out. That I didn’t want to. That I didn’t want my never afraid aunt to see the proof of my fear. It was a weakness that Ace and Carden often enjoyed pointing out to me.
    Aunt Sylvie had sighed. Rylynn, if you don’t let it out it will turn to poison. If you don’t vent, it will cause one of two things to happen to you.” I had glanced at her then. “Either you will meltdown into tears that won’t stop till you are all cried out or you will explode in anger. It will be an anger far more potent than whatever the situation was that set it off requires. Let it out now so you can heal. I’ll hold you.” She had said opening her arms to me. All those years ago I had taken her up on her advice and flung myself into her arms and cried my pain. She held me even though I had turned her blouse into a sopping wet rag.
    That was then, this was now. I had no safe place to vent as I did in her arms or my pillow. I couldn’t afford the show of weakness now. Not until I knew my surroundings better.
                  My gray eyes looked around and I forced myself to breathe. As I went the intimidating elegance cut down to just amazingly well-made. After the administration building I could handle it. I eventually came to the barracks. It was still made out of the same white marble, but it wasn’t as high… though looking at the map it was much bigger than the administration building. I don’t really know what it was that made the barracks less intimidating. It was even soothing in the lobby. I