Free Jinx On The Divide by Elizabeth Kay Page B

female. You can leave tomorrow. I'll order you a fire-breather."
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    ***
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    ***
    "I think we ought to read the owner's guide before we do anything else," whispered Felix, as they sat on the cushions in the main chamber of the brandee's lamp. "Just to make sure your plan will work for summoning Rhino when we're outside."
    "I can't believe someone would hand out bombs like candy," Betony whispered back. "He has to be stopped."
    "Let's read the guide in the greenhouse. We don't want the brandee to rematerialize and see what we're doing."
    Once safely in the greenhouse, Felix opened the manual, and they read the following:
    The K'Faddle Magic Lamp -- an owner's Guide
    ***
    Thank you for purchasing a K'Faddle magic lamp, which should last you several lifetimes. Before you use your new lamp, please read all the instructions carefully. If you have purchased your lamp
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    second-hand, be aware that a previous owner may have customized the brandee.
    Parts:
    In the box, you should have one brass lamp, one phial of complimentary brass cleaner, two rags, and this instruction booklet. If anything is missing -- especially this booklet -- please contact our Customer Care department in Kaflabad.
    Getting started:
    Unpack your lamp and remove the wadding from the spout. Under no circumstance should you attempt to force open the lid. This was welded shut after the brandee was inserted. To summon your brandee for the first time, rub the lamp gently in a circular motion with your fingertips, or some portion of your anatomy free of fu
    r or feathers. A golden gas will stream from the spout until a cloud has emerged and the emission stops. The gas will then change shape, becoming your K'Faddle brandee. He should be dressed in black, loose-flowing robes, and have a dagger in his belt.
    Operating the lamp:
    Your brandee has certain responses built into his operating system, and must materialize in response to direct friction, whether inside or outside the lamp.
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    Default setting:
    Saying, "I command you, in the name of K'Faddle, the one who cast you ..." overrides everything, including half-completed wishes. Memorize this phrase, and do not divulge it to anyone. It is a default setting to enable the makers to summon the brandee for servicing.
    Your brandee may grant a trio of wishes at any one summons, using a combination of magic, arcane knowledge, and common sense. Once the wishes are granted, you will not be able to issue another summons until the following moon. There are certain wishes your brandee cannot grant, however. He cannot raise the dead, or turn base metal into gold, or travel in time, or send anyone to another dimension; nor can he influence the weather. Meta-wishes, such as another three wishes or another lamp are not permitted; and no wish may ever be repeated. For a full list of exclusions, write to: K'Faddle & Offspring, Risk Department, Ziggurat Three, Kaflabad.
    Servicing and maintenance:
    You should polish the lamp only after the completion of a trio of wishes. Your brandee needs neither food nor water and should continue to function for several centuries. A regular one-hundred-wish checkup at an authorized K'Faddle dealer is recommended.
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    Advanced functions:
    MAGIC : Your brandee can perform simple illusion spells, and knows a few useful hexes.
    MEDICINE : Although your brandee can do basic surgery in an emergency, performing an illegal operation will cause him to turn blue and crash.
    VIOLENCE : Your brandee is capable of killing most beings. Make sure you check local regulations -- in some places, murder is against the law. Remember that your brandee can also be killed.
    Customizing your lamp:
    The brandee's flowing robes are designed for subterfuge. However, you may dress your brandee any way you wish.
    Your brandee comes with long black hair. You may cut, style, or color it any way you like.
    You may purchase any or all of the optional extras or order individually tailored items which will be charged