Free Love Letters by Katie Fforde

‘Well, you know.’ She paused and checked out her friend who was a few feet behind her. ‘Haven’t you a To Do list?’
    ‘Frequently, but it doesn’t have men on it.’
    ‘Doesn’t it? Mine’s only got men on it.’
    Laura felt suddenly envious. Not for Monica the mundane ‘washing’, ‘ring home’, ‘buy loo cleaner’ type of list that kept her life on track. Hers probably started with George Clooney and worked its way down through Harrison Ford to Jeremy Clarkson. ‘But you’re not in love?’
    The idea was obviously ridiculous. Monica laughed. ‘What is it with you and love? No! I want to find out if he’s as good in bed as he looks. Laura, why are you looking at me like that? Have you never fancied the pants off anyone?’
    ‘No,’ she panted. ‘Not really.’ She took a little run up the hill, trying to catch up with Monica who was taller and obviously a lot fitter.
    ‘What, never? I just couldn’t sleep with anyone I didn’t really lust after.’
    There was a tiny pause before Laura said, ‘Nor could I.’
    Monica pressed on cheerfully. ‘That’s all right then. But I don’t think it’s right to sleep with someone just because they’re there, or you need a lift home or something.’
    ‘I wouldn’t know,’ Laura muttered. ‘I’m a . . .’
    ‘Hang on.’ Monica stopped suddenly and turned round. ‘Are you telling me what I think you are?’
    ‘I don’t know. I hope not.’ Laura was panting when she came level with her friend and regretting her momentary need to confess something she wasn’t exactly ashamed of, but did make her a bit unusual and possibly strange. Monica was looking at her curiously.
    ‘When you say you wouldn’t know, does that . . . Are you – a virgin? I mean – have you never gone to bed with a man?’
    ‘I do know what being a virgin means.’
    ‘And are you one?’
    Monica didn’t seem to be judging her. ‘Yes,’ Laura admitted, embarrassed. It wasn’t so much that it was wrong to be a virgin but it was odd. She wiped her brow, so she didn’t have to see Monica staring at her.
    ‘How old are you?’ Monica wasn’t staring but she did seem curious.
    ‘Twenty-six.’
    ‘Wow!’ said Monica, impressed. ‘And you’ve waited this long!’
    ‘I wasn’t waiting, it just didn’t happen.’
    ‘Well, I think it’s sweet,’ said Monica after a pause. ‘Weird but sweet.’
    She set off up the hill again and Laura fell in beside her. ‘It’s no big deal,’ said Laura. ‘But I do think it would have to be the right person for me.’
    ‘Of course,’ said Monica uncertainly. ‘I think it’s lovely that you don’t just sleep around like I do.’
    ‘Do you?’ Monica was obviously what her father would describe as a ‘goer’ but she didn’t appear to lack the normal morals, either.
    Monica shrugged. ‘Well, not really, but I don’t hold back, if you know what I mean. I’m always very careful, always use a condom, make sure I like the guy a bit, and it’s not only that I want to get into his pants.’ She paused. ‘But your way is better, I’m sure.’
    ‘It wasn’t a deliberate policy.’
    Monica was thoughtful. ‘Or maybe you could do a lot worse than sleep with a friend, sort of get it over with.’
    Laura shook her head. ‘I’m not being precious about it, but being a virgin doesn’t really interfere with my life. Besides, my best friend is gay.’
    ‘Oh, Grant? Well, maybe you’ll meet some other nice man who’d be nice and safe to do it with.’
    ‘Maybe,’ said Laura. But however weird still being a virgin made her feel she didn’t think she’d want to deal with the matter so pragmatically. It had just sort of happened that way and she’d never felt the need to get rid of it just for the sake of it, like a outmoded piece of furniture.
    Laura walked most of the three miles to the little village they were heading for, but she was looking forward to being able to coast all the way back down to Ballyfitzpatrick.