Free Going Solo (New Song) by Brenda Barrett Page B

definitely doing that now," Carson said ruefully. "He is but a shadow of the man he once was. Seeing him sitting in his wheelchair, helpless and barely functioning, really gets to me."
    Alice snorted. "He deserves what he has now."
    "What did he ever do to you to make you think such horrible thoughts toward him?" Carson asked curiously.
    "He forced you to marry me," Alice said shiftily. "Isn't that enough?"
    "I wanted to marry you," Carson said lightly. "I would marry you again, at the drop of a hat. I loved you then. I love you now."
    "You had your dreams and your plans," Alice said. "I completely derailed you."
    "And you were in those dreams and plans. I can't recall having any plans without you featuring in it. Things just shifted up a bit when you got pregnant."
    "And delayed you horribly," Alice said. "That was one of the reasons I left, you know. I felt guilty about the whole thing, about burdening you with my problems."
    "Why?" Carson asked. "You had nothing to feel guilty about. Your problems are my problems."
    Alice got up and shrugged. "You always wanted to own Petey's."
    "I own Petey's," Carson said. "You came by there. It's now called CarBell."
    "But it took you so long because of me."
    "No. It didn't. You were never a burden."
    "You used to work extra shifts and dutifully save all your tips just to take care of me and the baby."
    "You are so sweet when you take on that martyred air," Carson said. "I much preferred having you in my life than out of it and I would not give up Mia for all the garages in the world. Her birth may have been less than ideal but I am not sorry that she is here."
    Alice stepped into her dress. Carson just watched her. "You know, I have an extra car. The month's rental on that vehicle you are driving will cost a fortune."
    "Don't be kind to me," Alice said stiffly, "I am a bad person. I don't deserve it."
    "Care to elaborate?" Carson asked with mirth in his eyes.
    "No, not tonight," Alice said. "I am going back to my motel."
    "Now that you know where I live, when are you coming back to take advantage of me?" Carson asked.
    "I don't know," Alice said, pushing her feet in her slippers. She was reluctant to leave and Carson could read it in her body language.
    "Stay," he said softly.
    Alice shook her head and took up her handbag.
    Carson got up and shrugged into a robe.
    "You work out, don't you?" Alice looked at him in admiring appraisal.
    "Yes," Carson grinned, "the guys and I workout at Aaron's house, well, all the guys except for Jayce."
    "He has gotten huge," Alice said. "I saw him the other day at the hip strip."
    "He told us," Carson said.
    "So the whole band knows I am back?" Alice asked.
    "Yes," Carson said, "even Xavier knows, and he is living in the States."
    "Maybe I should come by and say hi," Alice said. "They were my friends, especially Aaron."
    Carson looked at her sideways. "Say hi to Mia first. She's family."
    "She's your family." Alice chewed her lips and then sighed. "Okay, I will say hi to her first."
    While she was driving back to the motel, she realized that she felt lighter. It had just sunken in as she wound down her window and the breeze whipped her hair about that her heart was dancing, almost as freely as her hair.
      She felt somehow comforted at the news that Pastor Keen was an invalid. She sat in her car and cried because she felt such deep relief. She had spent the last ten years wondering if there would ever be any justice for her and it finally seemed that God had done his part.
    She inhaled. She did not feel as fearful anymore. Maybe it was time to face Mia.

    Chapter Ten
     
    May 1997
     
    Alice stepped into her cramped yard, almost brushing her school uniform on the car that was parked directly in front of the zinc gate. It was Pastor Keen's car and she wondered what he was doing at her house again. It was the third time in as many months that he had come visiting. Her mother was ill with a stomach bug and had asked the church for prayer two months ago but