Free Fran Rizer - Callie Parrish 05 - Mother Hubbard Has a Corpse in the Cupboard by Fran Rizer

table in my work room. I knew that she wore pristine cotton underwear that I would replace with her own. Otis and Odell always put underwear on the decedents before they brought them to my work room. New white boxers, never skivvies, on the males, while the females get white bras and full panties, never thongs or bikinis. If relatives didn’t bring underwear, the white cotton stayed on through cremation or burial. If the family supplied what they wanted, the mortuary underwear was discarded. The Middletons are always respectful to me and to the deceased. Actually, they are respectful to everyone except each other.
    I pulled on my smock and gloves before removing the photograph from its plastic bag. In the picture of them wearing beige dresses, both ladies had their hair short and curly, not quite as long as Miss Nina’s was. I’d just use some very tiny curlers. I sprayed setting lotion on her hair—no problem since she lay with her head slightly elevated on a wedge—and rolled it on the tiniest curlers I had. I don’t have to shampoo hair as part of my job. Otis or Odell washes the head during the prep. Sometimes, the hair is still damp when the person is brought to me, but Miss Nina had been embalmed the night before, so her hair was totally dry until I sprayed it.
    When I removed the sheet to manicure her nails and do makeup, I felt more emotional than I sometimes do when working with someone. I view my job as an opportunity to provide families with peaceful, pretty memories of their loved ones. After a few years on this job, the only cases that really upset me are when I have to work on children. This time, the elderly Miss Nina made me think of Maum. When the time came, would Rizzie want my services? I just hoped it wouldn’t be soon.
    By the time I had Miss Nina dressed in her beige outfit with her hair all curly, nails a pretty mauve, and her pearls on, I needed to go pick up Tyrone. I paged Otis. He came and helped me casket the body. “Casket” as a verb is Funeraleze meaning to put the deceased in the selected coffin. The head is turned slightly to the right though it looks like the person is lying flat on his or her back. We wheeled the bier into Slumber Room A and parked it in the usual place. Otis said he would take care of placing the floral arrangements while I was gone. I stepped back and took a good look at Miss Nina. She looked lovely lying there in her pink casket with its silver handles. I hoped I could do as well matching her sister’s appearance to hers.
     
    • • •
     
    Though I’d usually ridden the school bus, Daddy or one of my brothers had picked me up from school occasionally, but I didn’t remember it being the madhouse that confronted me in the parking lot at St. Mary High School. There were kids all over, and they didn’t seem to fear walking right in front of a moving car. For a moment, I wished I’d driven the hearse. Bet that would have slowed them down.
    Some of the teenagers still looked like little kids, but most of them could pass for grown. The girls had bigger ta ta’s than I do unless I’m wearing one of my inflatable bras. I scanned the crowd of noisy kids, but I didn’t see Tyrone. Finally, he sauntered out from behind the building, and I leaned over and opened the passenger door for him.
    “Don’t do that next time,” he said. “It makes me look like a little kid being picked up by their mama.” Oh, well, Wayne thought of me as a little girl while Tyrone thought of me as old enough to be his mother. Come to think of it, I am old enough to be his mom if I’d had him in my teens. I didn’t bother to tell him that grammatically “kid” and “their” didn’t go together.
    “How’s Maum?” he asked as I pulled off.
    “She’s not ready for the surgery yet, but she’s responding to the heart medicine.”
    “Maum’s not crying, is she?” he asked. “She had tears last night, and I don’t think I can stand to see her do that anymore.”
    “The