Free Artifacts by Pete Catalano

repeated as he entered in the name slowly and accurately. “Fairy tale.”
    Crunch pressed the enter key.
    “Anything?” Korie asked.
    “Yeah,” Crunch said. “James Bartholomew … uh-oh.”
    “James Bartholomew uh-oh what?” Mouth dropped to the floor next to him.
    Crunch turned the screen around so we could all see it at the same time. “James Bartholomew … Hook.”

Chapter Eleven
     
     
    “ No way !” were the first words out of my mouth. “You’re trying to tell me that nerdy, old, weasel Bartholomew is Captain Hook!”
    “Nope, the computer’s trying to tell you that,” Crunch said, holding up the laptop so nobody would think he was making it up.
    “Try it again?” Tank said.
    Crunch Googled the same question and had the same results.
    Mouth laughed. “Who would name a pirate Bartholomew?”
    “It all makes sense,” Korie said. “Wait, wait! And Smeethington’s got to be Smee.”
    “I couldn’t stand him in the movie,” Tank said, his face twisting up like he smelled something terrible. “If it really is Smee, I’ll be happy to take care of him myself.”
    Crunch typed in Smeethington and fairy tale, just like he did with James Bartholomew. Google responded in way less than a fraction of a second. “Bartholomew Quigley Smeethington. Also known as Smee, Captain Hook’s First Mate.”
    “Everybody’s named Bartholomew!” Mouth cried.
    “It just keeps getting better and better,” Crunch said.
    “But what about Butt-Kiss and Jerkin,” I said, trying to make sense of it. “Their characters aren’t in Peter Pan …”
    “They are,” Tank said quickly and his eyes lit up. “They are part of Hook’s crew that tried to mutiny. When he caught them he took his hook and put it to Jerkin’s chin. I loved the part where Hook dangled Jerkin over the edge of the water. ‘Let me go! Let me go! Don’t hurt me!’”
    “I’ll hurt you.” Mouth smacked him in the back of the head then jumped behind Korie. “Stop showing everybody how you’ve memorized dialogue from all the fairy tales.” He peeked out and whispered. “Bro, your tough reputation is doing a crash and burn every time you open your mouth. It’s embarrassing.”
    “They’re either here to help Hook and Smee … or they’re hoping to find the artifact on their own,” I said, searching for any possibility.
    “So, fairy tale villains are here working together to find one artifact which is the key to finding treasure,” Korie said.
    Crunch rubbed his hands together like you see in an old movie.
    “Hey, Crunch,” Mouth called. “Quit doing that. You’re creepy enough as it is.”
    I tried to refocus them a little. “We have treasure, villains, artifacts, Lost Boys …”
    Crunch raised his hand. “I’m still failing English.”
    I nodded and continued. “Four characters come tumbling out of two different fairy tales and spend almost nine months teaching sixth graders. This must be one heck of an artifact if they’re willing to put themselves through all that.”
    “Butt-Kiss didn’t teach us anything,” Mouth said. “He just spent the entire hour looking at himself in the mirror while we ran laps and Jerkin told him how great he is.”
    “What about the Lost Boys?” Tank asked. “I mean, I think it’s cool and all, but I’m not sure why they’re here or who sent them.”
    “Maybe they’re the only ones who could handle Hook,” I said.
    “We have to find the Lost Boys and let them know we’re on their side,” Korie said.
    I shook my head. “I think we have to stick with our original plan and try to find the artifact before anyone else does. If we have it … the Lost Boys will come find us.”
    “We better start looking for artifacts again,” Korie said. “If one of them really is the magic key to some kind of treasure, we better make sure we find it.”
    At that moment, one of the metal doors leading into the gym creaked open, and several quick squeaks followed as someone took a few steps