Free The Boy I Love by Nina de Gramont Page B

sets up in the woods. And he says cleaning a gun always helps clear his mind.”
    We walked outside to see who was in the paddock, and I pointed out different horses. “That horse is named Birdie, but she used to be called Sunday Best. She ran the Kentucky Derby and won a bunch of other races, but then she got soft-tissue injuries and wound up here.”
    â€œDoesn’t seem like a bad place to wind up,” Tim said.
    For some reason this made me feel like crying, so I tried to change the subject. “You sure were funny in rehearsal today,” I said.
    â€œYou already told me that on the bus.” He sounded so nice when he said this. Like he wanted to remind me he knew I was sad, and that was okay. “So,” he said, turningthings back to my life, the last place I wanted things to go. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
    â€œNo,” I said. “It’s just me. How about you?”
    â€œOlder sister. Kathy. She’s at Duke.”
    We walked out a little bit to the top of the hill and sat down. It was a good view. To one side you could see our house, and the driveway, and various horses grazing. To the other side you could see Cutty River Landing, all those brick houses and their shiny pool. “Look,” Tim said. “You can see my house from here.”
    â€œReally? You live at Cutty River Landing?” He tried to point out his house, but they all looked the same, so it was hard to see which one he meant. I tried to imagine what it would be like, living down there in one of those brick houses, with maybe just a dog or a cat, and all the bills paid so you never had to hear your parents fight.
    Finally it hit me, that it was weird I hadn’t said anything about my parents fighting. So I said, “Tim. I’m really sorry you had to see that before. With my mom and dad.”
    â€œThat’s okay,” he said. “You should hear my parents sometimes.”
    Again, he sounded so nice. He was so nice, I found myself saying, “We’re having some problems with money, if you couldn’t tell. Hanging on to this place.”
    Tim put his hand on my shoulder for a minute. The weight of his palm there, and the weight of what I’d justsaid, pressed down on me in opposite ways, both of them so emotional I worried I’d start crying.
    â€œDon’t tell anyone,” I said. “Okay? I don’t want to talk to anyone about it just yet.”
    â€œI won’t,” Tim said. “You can trust me, Wren, I promise.”
    I lay back in the grass and Tim’s hand dropped off me. He lay back too, and the two of us just stared up at the blue sky, wispy little white clouds floating up there above us. The worst of summer’s heat had passed, and while it still felt warm, there was the tiniest little breeze moving things around. It was so pretty I could almost stop thinking about my parents fighting.
    Tim pushed up on one elbow and looked down into my face. I looked back at him. His blond hair hung off his forehead, and I saw every single freckle, plus the flecks of green and gold in his blue eyes. I wondered if he was about to kiss me. Of course if he did, it would bring about all sorts of problems. But you know what? I didn’t particularly care. My whole heart felt clutched up, beating hard. This boy might be about to kiss me, a boy I liked. I didn’t even want to think about how much I liked him. If Tim kissed me, today would be the day of my first real kiss, and nothing else would matter, not even my parents having a big fight over a new horse and Dad saying we were all going to end up on the street.
    Looking back on this moment, I believe that Tim reallywas thinking about kissing me. He even leaned in a little closer so I could feel his breath on my face, soft, like he was trying to hold it. I thought about closing my eyes but I didn’t, because I wanted to know what it looked like when a person kissed you on the