Free Heavy Hearts by Kylie Kaemke Page B

the fact that I had started my fucking period while he had two fingers inside of me, but that wasn’t what he wanted to discuss. He was referring to the fact that before we discovered my bloody visitor I burst into tears and ran out of the shower pleading for him to stop.
    “Simon… I don’t even know what to say.” I lied. I did know what to say. I knew that I should have told him that it was all a mistake. That I was falling so hard for him and I couldn’t let that happen. Suzette’s words were buzzing through my head like a terribly annoying fly as I remembered she tried to warn me something like this was going to happen. I couldn’t believe that I had let myself get to that point, but I also knew that my oversensitive emotions were partly to blame by my monthly friend.
    “How about you start with what happened between the time that I left to make coffee and returning to find you in the shower?” He coaxed me for an answer. I felt horrified, but I honestly didn’t know how to handle it. I just shook my head left to right and another tear spilled out of my right eye.
    “Oh Luce, please don’t cry. Please just tell me what’s wrong. If you're embarrassed about what happened please don’t be. Tell me how to help you, please?” He begged, his words full of compassion, but that only made it worse. I wished that he didn’t feel for me. That would at least have made things easier, but I could see in his eyes as he wiped the tear drop from my cheek that he was also falling in love with me too. What a mess I had made.
    “I just can’t let this continue… I am so sorry to have put you in this position Simon, I really am, but this just has to stop.” I tried to say without choking up, but it was no use. Sometimes, being an emotional girl could really get in the way of things. I mean, I was sad about all this, but if my hormones weren’t all wacky I would’ve at least been able to get it all out without becoming hysterical.
    “What? What are you going on about? What ‘ position ’ have you put me in?” A new hint of anger had developed in his tone, and I was beginning to get worried. For all I knew he could have had some deep-seeded temper that I had yet to see.
    “This… us… me… and you. I’m only here until August Simon… August! Then I’m gone… don’t you understand that?” Now I was the one who was starting to get angry as I fought to speak through my sniffles.
    I saw the pain shine through in his eyes like he was just told he only had two months to live. He stared into my eyes, brow furrowed, mouth slightly opened, eyes pained, and the silence was killing me. “Well?” I snapped.
    He took a step back from me. Resembling a statue, he stood there in a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt, not moving… only staring. He was gracious enough, after my bewildering scene in the bathroom, to give me an oversized dark green t-shirt to pair with my black shorts since I had gotten my shirt wet when I flew out of the shower. I wiped my tear-stained hands on the shirt while I waited for his response. 
    There was a lull in the air for a while as we both silently mulled over our own personal thoughts. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking as he burned a hole right through me with his piercing eyes.
    And finally, he spoke.
    “So, what you’re telling me is that I shouldn’t tell you right now that I am in love with you…?”
    His words hit me hard. A rush of emotion consumed me. I wanted to cry, scream, kiss him, make love to him, and run away all in the same moment and the only way my body knew how to deal with all this intensity was to shut down. Then everything went black.
    ****
     
    I woke up for the second time that day in Simon’s cozy bed. My head a little fuzzy, but I knew where I was and sat up to remember the events that took place before the darkness. Simon was at my side instantly.
    “Lucy! Oh Lucy, are you okay? I was so worried, I was just about to call an