Free Pickles The Parrot: A Humorous Look At Life With An African Grey by Georgi Abbott

upside-down. I can’t place him on
the counter yet, because I can’t trust him alone for a second while
I’m doing the other things but once the supper is ready, I set him
down while I break up the square, stir in the Hemp Seed and put it
into his cage bowl. While I’m trying to do this, Pickles is trying
to get at his food before it’s ready, running for the soggy
dishcloth, inspecting the soap container, sprinting for the sugar
bowl and tossing the cage bowl on the floor—all at once. He’s just
a little grey blur who’s harder to catch than a mouse.
    He loves the little jar of Hemp Seed and one
day, manages to rip the lid out of my hand. He made a mad dash for
it and grabbed it so fast that he was shocked he actually got it
and his beak hadn’t been prepared to hang on to it. The lid went
flying, my hand flew after it and Pickles was determined to beat me
to it. Nobody got it before it landed in a soap filled pan in the
sink. Pickles had a full head of steam so by the time he stood on
the brakes he had too much momentum. He slid feet first into the
sink, grabbed on to the rim of the pan and flipped head first into
the soapy water.
    Soap and water were flying through the air as
Pickles flapped his way out. Now he’s livid and he takes it out on
everything in sight. Both dishes go flying and as I bend over to
pick up the bowls and the spilled food, Pickles managed to drop the
wet dishcloth smack dab on my head. I came up in slow motion,
giving him the evil eye as he snickered uncontrollably. When he
finally stopped laughing, he asked, “Arncha hungry?”
    Pickles definitely understands what’s funny
and he has a sick sense of humour. He has 3 laughs—one is an evil
snicker, one is a nose laugh and the other, a chuckle—and most
times they are accompanied by head bobs. He likes to tease, and he
likes to play practical jokes. He hates to be teased himself, but
is sometimes good-natured about being the butt of a practical joke.
The guy is warped.
    Most African Greys are known to be fearful of
change and fearful of new items. Pickles is actually pretty good
but when you least expect it, he freaks out. Changing furniture
around can be scary for Greys and they like things just they way
they are, thank you very much, but Pickles doesn’t care a rat’s ass
what you do with furniture. We can usually bring a new sofa in the
living room, a big scary item, but hand Pickles a nail file and he
screams bloody murder.
    He understands the word ‘scary’ and will tell
us when something is scary to him. But he also likes to pretend that things are scary—screaming and flapping his
wings in mock terror—he thinks that’s hilarious.
    Fortunately, loud noises don’t bother him.
Sudden noises—bad, loud noises—good. The first time we ever had a
thunderstorm (and we get them a lot) I jumped up going “Woo
hoooooooo!” and danced around until Pickles decided, what fun! One
time, a thunderclap hit with no warning and Pickles was so
startled, he fell part way off his perch but while hanging upside
down, he shouted “Woo hoo!”
    As far as change goes, he demands his supper
on time and he demands to go to bed at the same time each night.
Supper should be served at 5:00pm precisely, bedtime is 6:30pm and
if he doesn’t get his beauty sleep, he’s a very cranky boy the next
day. After we cover him he doesn’t usually go to sleep right away,
he prefers to hang out and eat some pellets, play with some talon
toys and read a book. Okay, I’m sure he doesn’t have a book under
the covers but he will drone on and on with his words as if he’s
reading out loud. I think mainly, he wants to be locked in his cage
and covered for some alone time. He probably figures it’s us that
are locked out and behind covers, not him.
    But when it gets right down to it, all the
food, toys and freedom, still isn’t good enough. Pickles gets tired
of some of his favourite foods sometimes, or maybe they’re not in
season or just not a good