stop.â
âBecause I know you, Ellie. You wouldnât do this, break up a familyââ
âMac!â
Macâs eyes cut to the older womanâs. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she brought theglass to her lips and drank. When sheâd drained the thing, she dropped it on the table. It fell on its side and rolled back and forth.
âMy history and my life with Everett is my own business,â she said with more passion than Mac had ever heard from her. âUnderstand?â
Did she understand? Hell no. She didnât understand one thing that had gone down today. But pushing and barking for an explanation wasnât the answer. Not now. Not while Elenaâs grief was so raw and fresh.
âAll right, Ellie,â Mac said pouring them both another round. âBut Blue has a right to know that history when heâs ready.â
âWhen heâs ready,â she whispered, taking up her glass. âWhen weâre both ready.â
It was all that was said, and for the next hour, they drank in compatible silence.
Diary of Cassandra Cavanaugh
January 30, 2002
Dear Diary,
Today Cole told me that he wished I was never born. Well, not
never
, he said, just not the same day and time he was. He said he doesnât mind that we have the same eyes or the same rocket shipâlooking birthmark on our bellies, but he thinks I get all the attention âcause Iâm a girl. He thinks that Mama didnât want another boy after Deac and James, and that she accepted him only because he came in a pretty pink package with me. I told him I thought he was crazy. But he wouldnât budge. He thinks sheâs always hugging and kissing on me more. I told him maybe he should take a bath, that he always smells like the cows, and Mama doesnât like cows.
He started to cry after I said it. Then he told me Iâm the worst sister ever.
Maybe I was being mean, but I canât help it. Itâs just hard sometimes. Three of them and one of me. I mean, I know I got Mac, but she doesnâtlive here. The boys just all want to hang out together and sometimes I feel like I donât belong. Like they wouldnât even notice if I was gone.
I wish someone would notice me.
Iâm going to go watch TV.
Bye for now,
Cass
Six
The bunkhouse located between the creek and the stables had been a dusty dorm room for cowboys once upon a time, but things had changed. Over the last few years, a girl had moved in, and subsequently moved the boys out to new, larger ranch hand quarters near the big lake. Granted, the girl was the Triple Câs foreman, so there was a good amount of rustic still going on inside. But the place was light and airy and clean, and James was real appreciative that Mac had forced his hand on taking the place. Truthfully, heâd tried every which way to let her know heâd be fine in the loft apartment in the barn, but she wouldnât hear of it. Said he needed to be near the horses while he was there. She was something, that woman. As kind and thoughtful as she was tough.
James pushed open the screen door and headed out of the bunkhouse, down the steps and into the still, breezeless night. Over near the creek, under thelight of a nearly full moon, he spied a heavy grain sack hanging by a few ropes that were wrapped around a thick branch on a nearby tree. Performing some fancy footwork while delivering several death blows to the sackâs gut, Cole didnât notice his approach until James was right up on him.
âSo, who you imagining this is?â James asked.
Wearing only a pair of gray sweat shorts, the rest of him covered in a sheen of sweat and aggression, Cole bobbed and weaved and tore into the sack several more times before he answered. âNo one. Anyone.â
James nodded. âRight.â
âI have a match coming up, thatâs all,â Cole said, giving the dejected-looking sack a roundhouse kick. âI need to
Victoria Christopher Murray