Free Everything and Nothing by Araminta Hall Page B

some?’
    Ruth looked at the capable young girl standing in her kitchen, still ready to take on the world. Maybe they should go back to having children at sixteen, it was about the only time in your life you felt optimistic enough and had the energy.
    ‘No thanks, Aggie,’ she said, and then she started to cry.
    Agatha came and sat next to her. ‘What’s wrong, Ruth? What’s the matter?’
    The urgency in Aggie’s voice was especially touching to Ruth; it was as if she cared. It made her momentarily aware of how child-like Aggie was. ‘Everything,’ she managed to say. ‘I’m a terrible mother.’
    ‘Don’t be silly.’ Agatha put her hand over Ruth’s. ‘You’re great. What’s made you say that?’
    ‘The nutritionist blamed me for Hal. He didn’t even ask me about Christian. Why does it all have to be my fault?’
    ‘Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know anything. Come on, Ruth, the kids love you.’
    ‘But why doesn’t Hal eat? And why does Betty cry all the time? Why won’t she bloody sleep?’
    Ruth looked up and saw some starlings playing in the blue sky out of her kitchen window. She felt jealous of their freedom, their lack of responsibility. She turned her attention back to Aggie, who she could tell was trying to say the right thing.
    ‘You can tell me to butt out if you like, Ruth, but I’ve listened to you and Betty at night. And I’m not saying you’re wrong or anything, but you know, sometimes when you’ve been in a situation too long it’s hard to see a way out . . . ’
    Ruth’s heart clenched. ‘Go on.’
    ‘Well, it’s only a theory, but you could try taking her into bed with you.’
    ‘She used to sleep with us every night,’ said Ruth. ‘She didn’t even have a cot for the first year. But then Christian insisted we move her.’
    Aggie blushed. ‘Yes, but she never wakes up till midnight. You could start her in her bed and then let her come in to you in the middle of the night. I think she’s scared. That’s what it sounds like when I listen to you.’
    ‘Scared?’ Ruth tried to remember her daughter’s cries in the night, tried to make sense of them the way Aggie seemed able to do.
    ‘Yes, it’s like she’s got herself into this cycle and she knows she makes you angry and now she’s scared. I don’t know, it might be worth a try.’
    ‘Anything’s worth a try,’ said Ruth.
    ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying anything,’ said Aggie. Ruth put her hand over the girl’s. She felt ashamed for bitching about her to Sally, ashamed for ever having thought badly of her. She was a sweet young girl wanting the best for them. ‘Don’t be silly, Aggie. It’s so kind of you to be thinking about us. I’m the one who should be apologising for keeping you awake.’
    Aggie shook her head. ‘So you’ll try it?’
    Ruth smiled. ‘I will. Tonight. We’ll do it tonight.’ She moved her hand and laughed. ‘So, now we’ve sorted out Betty, what are we going to do about Hal? He’s going to be three in a few weeks and he doesn’t eat.’
    ‘It’s his birthday soon?’
    ‘Yes, and I haven’t organised anything.’
    ‘Oh, would you let me, Ruth? I’d love to organise him a party.’
    ‘Oh no, Aggie, you’ve done enough. I couldn’t possibly.’
    But she looked so keen, like a puppy. ‘Oh, but I’d love to. I love organising parties. I once had a job as a party planner.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yes, I did loads of kids’ parties. I love them. I’d love to do that for you.’
    Ruth laughed, pushing the hair out of her eyes. She felt tired to her bones and the offer sounded as sweet as nectar. ‘Is there no end to your talents, Aggie? What would we do without you?’
    By the time Christian got home Ruth looked as though she had been beaten up. In the low half-light he could see her reading to Betty, who wasn’t listening but instead complaining that she didn’t want them to go out. Ruth soldiered on with the tale of the Princess who could feel a pea through