honest, William didnât discuss it much until we moved in with you.â
âWhat kind of regrets?â
âHe feels abandoned. Surely you can understand why. I mean, he was so young when his mom died. Thatâs a lot for any kid to deal with. To make things worse, less than a year later, Daniel left.â
Rebecca gave a sad shake of her head. âI canât even begin to imagine the suffering William went through. His faith is strong. So is his determination. But even for the toughest person, losing a mother and a father . . . thatâs an awful lot to cope with.â
âIt is. Oh dear. And to think that Iâm responsible.â Her voice cracked with emotion. âI feel awful.â
Rebecca let out a deep sigh. âOn one hand, he loves Daniel and seeks his approval. On the other, he resents his dad for not raising him. Heâs sure that his mother never dreamed his dad would leave him. I have no doubt that Miriam had planned for William to grow up Amish, but because of the circumstances, Daniel probably should have taken him.â
âI agree. But how can we fix it?â
Rebecca pressed her lips together and considered the question. Beth wanted to help William be close to Daniel. That realization prompted a new hope in Rebecca.
She thought out loud. âWe canât change what happened. Whatâs done is done. Like they say, hindsightâs twenty-twenty. At this point, their relationship can probably never be perfect. But thereâs got to be a way to bridge the gap.â
âI hope so. We would have raised William if Daniel hadnât felt such tremendous obligation to his late wife.â
âBut wasnât raising William Amish important to Daniel, too?â
Beth shrugged.
âObviously, Miriam didnât consider Daniel remarrying outside of the faith.â
âIâm sure she didnât.â Beth held up a hand in defense. âDonât get me wrong. Danielâs a good man. But despite his strict Amish upbringing, heâs very open and accepting of other religions. To be honest, I donât think all of the picky details of living Amish are important to him.â Beth took a deep breath and put her hand over her mouth as if to unsay what sheâd said. âIâm sorry, Rebecca. I didnât mean it to come out that way. What I meant was that to Daniel, itâs a personâs heart that counts. Not whether or not he uses electricity.â She let out a sigh. âDo you get what I mean?â
âOf course. Daniel must have known that marrying you would cause controversy. The Amish are good people. Theyâre also cut-and-dried about their way of living. They donât make exceptions to the rules.â
âDonât I know it. Being shunned used to bother Daniel a lot. Especially when we were first married. But time heals all wounds. I really think heâs moved past that. If only we can mend his relationship with William . . . Iâll be so happy.â
Rebecca smiled a little. âIâm glad youâre with me on that one. With the two of us working to bond them, weâre bound to succeed.â She stopped to consider the situation. âTo be honest, Iâm glad I had the opportunity to grow up with William and to love him. Itâs hard to imagine life without him. At the same time, I regret what heâs gone through.â
âMe too. I carry such huge guilt, Rebecca.â She paused. âPlease pray that God will forgive me.â
Rebecca squeezed Bethâs hand. âYou canât take all of the responsibility for what happened.â
Rebecca ran her fingers over her damp forehead. The temperature had risen since theyâd started their walk. She thought of how good it would feel to remove her kapp and tie her hair up in a ponytail.
When a breeze finally fanned her face, she closed her eyes a moment in relief. When she opened them, her thoughts drifted back to the