Free One On The House by Mary Lasswell

“I’m driving you over and we have to allow for traffic.”
    “Wouldn’t the subway be faster?” She stopped her work to give Danny her full attention.
    “The car’s more convenient with your luggage…and we’re taking Danny. If you’ll just step on it, everything will work out fine.”
    “Yeup!” Mrs. Feeley kicked Miss Tinkham’s ankle gently, “Get there early an’ we might have time for a beer.”
    Inside the Pennsylvania Station, Danny guided his party to the cocktail lounge and got a table for them.
    “I’ll show you where the ticket window is, Miss Tinkham.” He escorted her out the door and she flashed an anguished look at her friends.
    “If you’ll excuse me, Danny…” She clutched her stomach. “The most violent cramps…something I ate, no doubt! Which way is the ladies’ room?” Danny pointed it out and went over to the magazine stand. Miss Tinkham hid behind a fat man until she saw Danny safely in line to be waited on, and then dashed to the nearest ticket window and bought four tickets to Newark. She put them into a railway envelope with Mrs. Rasmussen’s fake tickets and beat Danny back to the cocktail lounge. He came in followed by a redcap.
    “I got a porter to put your things aboard and hold seats for you.”
    “We don’t need no porter!” Mrs. Feeley said.
    “Then you’ll have to come down with me now and let me get you seated properly before the rush starts.”
    Mrs. Feeley quickly chose the lesser of two evils. “What the hell! Let’s have the porter, then we can stay here an’ have some more beer.”
    “Does he need the tickets?” Miss Tinkham produced the envelope.
    “Not in the coaches, ma’am…” he said. “Unless you got reserved seats.”
    “The regular coaches,” Miss Tinkham said with dignity. “The reserved seats were all gone.” The porter handed her checks for the four bags and one for Aphrodite.
    “Take these too.” Danny handed him a pile of magazines and a dollar bill. “Get good seats, will you?”
    “I need a beer!” Mrs. Feeley said.
    “I don’t know what the score is,” Danny said. “But you’re taking this money whether you want to or not.” He handed Mrs. Rasmussen a sizeable roll of bills. The one on the outside was a twenty.
    “We don’t need money,” she said.
    “You take it, Miss Tinkham!” Katy urged. “Take it and mail it back when you get home, if you don’t need it. We’d feel better if you had it in case of emergency.”
    Miss Tinkham said gravely:
    “Perhaps discretion is the better part of valor.” She took the bills from Katy. The thunderous voice of the loud-speaker called the train and when Danny interpreted the weird syllables, Mrs. Feeley put her arms around his neck.
    “It’s been the swellest time in our whole lives…words ain’t no good. But we gotta go now!” She kissed Katy and the baby. Their faces were soon covered with beery, teary kisses. Old-Timer hugged Little Danny hard and walked away blowing his nose into a big red handkerchief. They inched along towards the gate.
    “Don’t attempt to come!” Miss Tinkham said. “It would be frightful to bring the baby into this atmosphere of microbes.” She hugged him to her breast for what seemed a long time.
    “Well, gals! You’re on your own!” Danny said.
    “There’s no bull to that, son!” Mrs. Feeley kissed him a last time and turned to shove her way after the other three who were bull-dozing a path through the crowd. She could see Old-Timer’s red suspenders ahead of her like a beacon.
    “Gawd!” she muttered, “we sure better find them bags in a hurry!” The beer was circulating through her veins and she felt like crying. She hated partings and there ought to be a law against them.
    “How come Miss Tinkham took that money?” she wailed. “How could she?” She saw Miss Tinkham and Mrs. Rasmussen beckoning madly, leaning out of the door of the last coach.
    “We must find our luggage…and it’s almost train time! We have to