Free Snow Blind by Richard Blanchard Page B

probably horrendously expensive and stuffy. Courmayeur is what he would want.” I win round one.
    â€œI will get a blow-up of the group airport photo and we can all sign it for him to take home.” Johnny makes a sweet suggestion, bringing silent ridicule.
    â€œThat’s all okay but when are we going to make him run around town naked or get him a tattoo?” Max enquires anxiously.
    â€œBollocks to that, he would freeze his knackers off. Also there is no needle going anywhere near our kid,” argues Chris.
    â€œWe have to get him somehow.”
    â€œJust chuck him in the snow after skiing. Anyone who wants to really hurt him will have me to answer to.” Chris wins round two through his superior physical presence.
    â€œFor fuck’s sake is this a stag do we are on or a trip of the Catholic mothers to Lourdes? The guy is handing his freedom over to be pussywhipped from next weekend; he needs something to hold on to for the rest of his godforsaken married life. When are we getting him laid?” Robert has been biding his time.
    â€œNot a chance,” I spit back at him.
    â€œHe has to get laid!” Max supports him. Robert stares fervently at every pair of male eyes for approval. The round bar table is deathly quiet. They are all so weak; no one wants to show dissent, even though they may privately find it appalling.
    â€œThere is no way he is going to a prostitute. He would be mortified and Sophia said…”
    â€œSophia has got nothing to do with this. This is a man thing.” Robert deliberately abuses the silence of these men, excluding me and condemning Dan. I find myself without a talking ally so look to mitigate the disaster.
    â€œWon’t there be a lap dancing place you could all go to?”
    â€œYou leave this one up to us boys. If it is a lap dance he is getting one so dirty that he will cream in his pants.” The five men chuckle dirtily.
    â€œYou don’t have to be there unless you want to join in? You could show him everything for old-times sake!” Robert tempers his resolve but tests mine not to hit him.
    â€œIs that it then, a meal out and some saggy tits? I wanted to get him off-piste down the Vallée Blanche glacier. That will be something he will never forget!” says Robert
    â€œThat sounds daft.” Chris expects nothing but bullshit from Robert.
    â€œIt’s this easy off-piste run that you take from underneath Mont Blanc up there and down into the village. It’s awesome but easy!” Robert points out of the window to the highest mountain profile set against the full grey sky.
    â€œOff-piste, isn’t that risky?” Johnny enquires.
    â€œNot if you are with me it’s not!”
    â€œWe would have to get a guide, surely,” insists Johnny.
    â€œI’ve done it three times now, it’s only about fifteen miles long. It’s easy, don’t you trust me?” Robert knows no one will openly voice a lack of trust.
    â€œBut still we should be careful, I am not sure if we can all ski that well!” I interject another voice of reason. This hadn’t gone the way Robert had hoped.
    â€œOkay we will get a flaming guide. Let’s book it tomorrow so we don’t miss out.” Max holds Robert’s idea up, revealing their collusion. A roar of approval engulfs the bar, some ball has been kicked in some field somewhere.
    â€œCan we ask Dan about this one?” I make a final effort to thwart them.
    Men end arguments by giving no response. With such shrugging simplicity the weekend’s agenda has been laid out. Great dictators have probably been allowed to flourish by this method: men shrugging their shoulders at the prospect of gas chambers and mass genocide just because they wont step out of the pack. Chris and Johnny may be on my side of reason but they are silent partners now. All of them worry me.
    â€œHe’s coming back in!” Dan’s phone is back in his pocket