Free Spoiled Secrets by Ebony N. Donahue Page B

“I make the rules around this BITCH!  Me, not YOU!  When I tell her to do something she’s going to fucking do as I say.” 
     
                  “Sweetheart, go…go get in my bed.”  I whispered in Peanut’s ear.
     
                  I gently set her on her feet.  I squatted down to her level and wiped the tears from her cheeks.  She flung her little arms around my neck.
     
                  “ I’m sorry !”  This was her pained apology whispered in my ear. 
     
                  I gently pushed her back and cocked my head in the direction of my bed.  As she turned to obey my silent command, I closed the door to shield her from what was about to become a heated discussion between mom and myself.  The closing of the door was a false sense of protection, a false shield of protection, from the heated words that are soon to follow.  Because of Peanut’s nature…her talents, you could not actually shield her from the negative; she will pick it up like a sponge soaking up water. 
     
                  So, I imagine the shield was really for me. My nature is to protect her and as I said before in this matter at hand, it’s a false protection, but the protective alpha male that resides in me would not have it any other way.  As I turned from closing my door I was immediately and uncomfortably nose to chest with my mother.  I didn’t hear her move.
     
                  “Mom you need to…” 
     
                  I didn’t get to finish that particular sentence.  It happened so fast.  I heard the crack of the slap across my face before it registered in my mind and my nerve endings, that she just hit me.  As time slowed, as my brain receptors caught up with the stinging sensation on the right side of my face… SHE FUCKING HIT ME!  I stood there in shock.
     
                  “NO…NO…NO…CHASE!  Noooo, mommy!  Don’t hit my brother!” ( Pound, pound, pound, rattle, rattle, rattle, sobs, yelling, crying )
     
                  “Chase!  Chase!  I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to get you in trouble!  Chase!  Please, please let me out!”  ( Pound, pound, pound, rattle, rattle, rattle, sobs, yelling, crying )  I slowly climbed out of my stupor.
     
                  “ WHO THE FUCK, DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!  I’M HER MOTHER…YOUR MOTHER; I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE, NOT YOU !  Let go of the fucking door, so I can get MY DAUGHTER !  She will be going to HER ROOM !” 
     
                  I slowly looked down and realized that I had a death grip on my bedroom door.  There was pounding and yelling coming from Peanut from the other side of my door.  Mom has invaded my personal space and refuses to take a step back. My brain is slowly taking everything in, as if I’m a voyeur in this fucked up version of my life. When I look up from gazing at my bedroom door, mom and I were still nose to chest.
     
                  “I don’t like you NO MORE mommy!  I don’t love you NO MORE!  Don’t hit my brother NO MORE!” 
     
                 
                  I see the wince in moms’ eyes as Peanut’s words cut deep.  I see the hurt of a mother who has lost control of her household.  I see the realization in her face that she knows, she has lost the battle.  I also notice the refusal written all over her face, to not go down without a fight. Her plans which are written across her face are telling me in a not to subtle way, that she will not be relenting tonight.
     
                  “I love you, but never …”  I inhale to calm myself and only then do I continue in an icy tone.  “Never, will you hit me again.”  I take a couple deep breaths.  “ YOU , don’t have to keep reminding me whose daughter she is.  I know, I was there !  You fail to realize it’s not who conceives, it is the person who nurtures and