Free The Last Chance Ranch by Ruth Wind, Barbara Samuel

love you to death.”
    “That’s not the way, Annie. Violence begets violence.”
    “I know.” She nodded, bowing her head against her arm, which was still stretched to meet Desmary’s hand. How could it still hurt so much after so many years? How could there still be tears inside of her? “I know. I know it does.”
    Slowly the papery thumb moved on Tanya’s knuckles. “You need to know that when Ramón brought Tonio here, he didn’t speak for almost a year. We worried for a while that he’d been beaten, too. That he would be retarded.”
    Tanya frowned, sniffing. “He was talking pretty well by then.”
    Desmary nodded. “It hurt him, losing you. He didn’t understand. One day, I was making cookies with him, and he just looked up and said, ‘Mamma’s dead.’”
    Tanya looked down.
    “I told him you’d just gone away for a long time. He would see you again one day. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Mamma’s gone.’”
    “I don’t know why you’re telling me this.”
    “For one thing, you get as old as me, you know you could go in the blink of an eye.” Desmary pursed her lips. “And if somebody doesn’t give you some little pushes here and there, Annie, you’re gonna live on the very edge of your life, scared to live, forever. That would be a shame.”
    Tanya nodded. It was true. She was afraid of everything. Except survival. Surviving she knew.
    “Tonio never talked about you. Ramón brought you up sometimes, just to keep you in his mind. Tonio just ignored him. He never wanted to talk about it at all. When he was ten, Ramón sat him down and made him listen to the story of what really happened to you. It didn’t help. Tonio still felt unwanted.”
    An ache burned in Tanya’s chest. “I wanted him safe.”
    “One day, he’ll understand that.” Desmary’s rheumy eyes were compassionate. “First, he needs to remember his mama, the one he loved. Her name was Annie. That’s what I’m going to call you.”
    Surprised, Tanya smiled. “All that for one declaration?”
    Desmary chuckled. “I’m an old woman. I’m allowed to take my time rambling around the point of my stories.”
    “I guess you are.” Tanya kissed her forehead. “Thank you. My own mother was always too afraid of my father to be much of a comfort to me.” At the look on Desmary’s face, Tanya hastened to add, “Oh, he wasn’t physically abusive—he was just a jerk.”
    “Ah.” She slapped Tanya’s thigh. “Go on out there now. Grab on to your new life and start living it.”
    “I’ll try.”
    * * *
    Ramón was a little late coming in to dinner. He found Tonio and Tanya already seated. “Sorry. I got caught up,” he said, sitting down.
    Tonio shrugged. Tanya stood to ladle stew into his bowl. “No,” he said, “I’ll serve myself. You eat.”
    “I don’t mind,” she said simply, and filled the bowl, then gave him a napkin-lined basket of rolls. Their hands brushed on the basket. Silly as it was, Ramón thought he felt a charge of something—it startled and pleased him. He looked at Tanya. She simply smoothed her hair back from her face and sat down.
    He was an idiot.
    Spreading margarine on the roll, Ramón looked at his son. “How was school? Did you get that report done on time?”
    Tonio scowled. “Why do we have to talk about school every time? Don’t you have anything else you want to talk about?”
    Ramón frowned. “Sure—after you tell me about school. Is there something wrong?”
    “No.” Tonio’s utterly sullen teenage scowl darkened. “I just want to talk about something else. Is that a crime?”
    From the corner of his eye, Ramón saw Tanya lower her head and cover her mouth. For a minute he thought she was upset, then he caught her eye and saw the dancing light in the dark blue irises. Her nostrils flared dangerously.
    Ramón looked away hastily, afraid her amusement would trigger his own and they’d both laugh, making a vulnerable teenager feel even worse. “We don’t have to talk about