desire shot
through him, his prick pressing against his damp nightshirt.
He heard the maids bustling about in the corridor outside and knew he
wouldn't have time to make himself spill his seed again, even though
he felt like he might want to. Aedyn tucked the covers up to his chin
when he heard the knock on his door. "Come in," he called
and Hawise entered his bedroom with hot water and towels for his
wash. Once she was gone, Aedyn got out of bed and stripped off his
nightshirt before sponging his sticky thighs and groin. There wasn't
a lot he could do about the sheets, but he was always embarrassed,
wondering what the laundry maids thought when they changed his bed.
Did women even know what happened to men? Or did Dame Nera only know
because she was a healer?
He finished washing and dried himself off before dressing in another
set of new clothes. As his guardian, Kestan had taken Aedyn to so
many tailors that he'd lost count. Every item of clothing was fitted
to him and Aedyn revelled in the soft feel of the materials that he
tried on. He pulled on a pair of dark green trousers and a cream
shirt. It made him feel quite grown up and later tonight he hoped
Kestan could see that as well: that he was grown up and wanted grown
up things. He was nineteen now, hardly a child!
Aedyn made his way to the dining room for breakfast. Breakfast was
the most informal meal in the earl's household: there was no set
time. All the food was set out on warming plates on the sideboard and
people could come and go as they pleased. Aedyn was pleased to see
Kestan already there, along with Jessamyn and her father. It was
lonely if he was the last one down and had to eat by himself. He'd
had enough of being alone.
"Good morning, everyone," said Aedyn as Kestan pulled out
the chair next to his for Aedyn to sit in and smiled at him.
"Good morning, Aedyn," said Kestan. "Did you sleep
well?"
Aedyn blushed, remembering his dreams of the man that meant he had
woken up to sticky sheets. Again . "Yes, thank you."
The table was set already with plates, cutlery, glasses and cups
along with jugs of juice, pots of tea and hot chocolate. Aedyn poured
himself a glass of orange juice before lifting his plate and taking
it over to the sideboard where all the covered dishes were waiting.
Aedyn opened every lid, hoping to tempt himself with something, but
like every other morning since he'd recovered he took only two slices
of toast and strawberry preserve. He left the bacon, eggs, kidneys
and black pudding under their domes and made his way back to the
table. The others glanced at each other, trying to make it seem as if
they weren't worried about him. His appetite still wasn't as strong
as theirs, but Aedyn knew that he could eat what he wanted whenever
he wanted, with no punishments for doing so. No one mentioned how
little he ate at meals still, but Aedyn knew they were probably
thinking it.
Aedyn ate his toast and took a drink of his juice before making his
announcement. The truth was he'd been thinking about it for a while
but wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject. He decided just to
come out with it.
"I think it's time I looked for a house of my own," Aedyn
said. Jessamyn's fork dropped to her plate with a clatter; Kestan
arched his eyebrows and the earl just smiled a little sadly. "I
can't live on your hospitality forever."
"Aedyn, you and Kestan are welcome to stay here for as long as
you wish," said Jonathan.
"I know, and you've been most generous. I just think it's time."
Aedyn knew that the longer he stayed, the more difficult it was going
to be to leave. It was wonderful being part of a family and he had
felt like part of the family here, but he knew that he had to stand
on his own two feet sometime. "Is that all right, Kestan?"
Aedyn didn't really know how much things cost; but as guardian of
Aedyn's money as well as his person, Kestan had taken care of
everything so far. But Aedyn knew that some day he was going to have
to be