Free Breaking Dawn by Donna Shelton

and shoes and curl up on the couch. My parents are still away. Brian takes off his jacket, hat and gloves and squats down in front of me.
    ‘I’m going to call my parents,’ he says. ‘Do you need anything? Something to drink? The remote?’
    I shake my head.
    Brian gets up and disappears into the kitchen. I hear him talking on the phone. I can’t quite understand what is being said. But it’s only words. Meaningless words. Afterwards we sit on the couch together; not speaking, just sitting there as the room darkens with the setting sun. At some point Brian turns on the light and the television with the volume down so low it is barely audible.
    It’s getting late and Brian is trying to hold back his yawns. I am exhausted and want very badly to fall asleep, but I doubt that would happen. There’s still too much of today in my mind.
    There is a noise at the front door. I look over just as my parents are coming into the house, shaking snow off their coats as they step inside. Mom looks over at us on the couch. She seems surprised.
    ‘Grandma will be okay,’ Mom says as she removes her coat and boots.
    Dad steps in behind her and shuts the door. ‘You kids shouldn’t be up this late on a school night.’
    I look over to Brian with tears in my eyes. I want to tell them, but I know that if I try to speak I will babble like a fool. The way Brian looks at me before he stands up, I can see that he understands.
    ‘Uh, I don’t quite know how to say this…’ His troubled eyes look to both my parents, ‘Perry has killed himself.’
    I draw my knees into my chest and bury my face in them to weep. I can’t watch my parents for their reaction, it would be too painful. I just can’t bear any more pain right now.
    ‘No…’ Mom starts to cry.
    ‘What happened?’ Dad demands in a trembling voice.
    ‘He shot himself.’ Brian answers, but his voice is now starting to fail him. ‘By the time we got to his house, it was too late.’
    Next thing I know, Mom is on the couch holding me and we both cry. I can hear Dad talking with Brian and at some point, I don’t quite know when, Brian leaves. Then, from somewhere in the darkness of the kitchen, I can hear Dad crying.

CHAPTER 7
    It’s the next day. I do nothing but lie in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. After thinking last night that I would never sleep again, when it finally does come, it hits me hard. I get up once or twice to go to the bathroom and even though my stomach howls with hunger, I ignore it, preferring the empty void of sleep. Every time I wake up, my body aches and the numbness in my brain leaves me feeling weak and empty. Mom came in once in the morning to tell me that she had called the school. The school allows five days grievance for approved absences; but that is the last thing I care about.
    At night, Mom comes in to my room to tell me about Dad going over to Perry’s house to speak with Perry’s mom. Perry’s mom can’t afford a wake or a funeral. That is no surprise to me. She can afford all the alcohol in the world, but she can’t afford to keep food in her house or pay for her own son’s funeral. I start to get angry with Perry’s mom, until Mom tells me that Dad is offering to pay for the funeral. Somehow that brought me some relief. Perry’s mom never did much for him while he was alive, and she isn’t about to start now. In fact, she is letting Dad take care of all the arrangements.
    Mom’s on my bed telling me all this and when she is done, she just sits there. She’s waiting for me to say something, but I have nothing to say.
    ‘We loved him too, Dawn.’
    Why did she say that? I know she did. They both did, Mom and Dad. Does she want to make me cry some more? No – she just wants me to know, that’s all.
    ‘We’ll get through this together.’ Mom’s voice is shaking.
    I roll over; I don’t want her to see the tears running down my cheeks. I just want to sleep and forget. It takes energy to cry and I just don’t have