Free The Cross in the Closet by Timothy Kurek

yet?” I ask.
    “Yeah, but she won’t have anything to do with us together. He’s not even allowed at my house, and they won’t see us together,” he says. I can see that he’s struggling with his mom’s less-than-warm welcome. “God only knows why he’s putting up with it. Makes me love him more, though! I see him dealing with my parents who don’t like him, and I can’t help but be thankful for him.”
    “So he treats you well?”
    “He’s a prince.” Will’s face lights up when he talks about his boyfriend, and I can see he’s in love.
    “You deserve a prince.”
    “I’m just going to give my mom time. She still thinks her ex-gay therapy groups will straighten me out; but until she realizes I’m being me, we won’t be able to move forward.”
    I can’t imagine. If my mom tried to shove ex-gay literature at me, I’d probably throw it right back at her.
Reparative therapy
, they call it. They should call it “repression therapy.”
    “Well, it looks like you’ve got a line of thirsty men,” I say.
    “And a few that want a drink, too!” he says with a laugh.
    “It’s awesome seeing you. We need to hang out soon.”
    He nods. A few steps back towards the bar, he stops. “Oh, and one more thing: Do me a favor and realize that in every community there’s good and bad. Don’t get caught up in the bad, now, no matter how much you may want to.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “You’re free of the closet, but don’t lose yourself by acting out. Take your time acclimating and don’t rush into anything. I see too many guys come out, and in the happiness of it all, make some very unwise decisions. Break the stereotypes, Tim. This is an opportunity to break the stereotypes.” He turns and walks back to the bar where a line of people wait to order drinks.
    “I will,” I say, even though he is too far to hear me. I’ll have to ask him to elaborate, but for now I am so caught off guard by Will’s concern for me that I don’t know what to say.
    I wonder what’s worse: rejecting someone for being gay or accepting him with ulterior motives. Will’s mom, who has always been very sweet and caring, is not only permitting a wall between herself and her son—she’s helping to reinforce it. I just don’t get it. How can someone separate themselves from another person, especially a child, using theology as bricks and dogma as mortar? It makes no sense.
    I think that’s a problem with conservative theology: it allows one’s beliefs to keep one from a relationship. And unfortunately, she has fallen into the trap. Will is her son, and by keeping his boyfriend at arm’s length, she’s keeping her son at a distance. I feel distraught for Will, and I wish his mom would love him without trying to change him. Even more, I wish the same for myself. Loving without motive seems like the more Christ-like way to go, but maybe it is more easily said than done. Maybe this year I’ll get to a place where that is not only my mindset, but my habit, too.

    Church Street
    One of the great theological fundamentals, instilled in me for as long as I can remember, is that we are all born into this life with an albatross of sin hanging around our necks. This weight and pressure is designed to force a sense of spiritual immediacy and urgency as we live and share the Gospel of Jesus. It is a belief that says all of us are broken and unable to enjoy a relationship with our creator until we repent and turn away from our sinful selves.
    Coupled with this idea that we are unable to know God until we repent is the idea that those “living in sin” are incapable to knowing salvation. For gays and lesbians, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been raised in church, love Jesus, and are fluent in the religious language; God’s truth will simply evade you until you turn away from your same-sex attraction and give your struggle to the Lord. That is, you cannot know God and be an unrepentant homosexual.
    So I am surprised as I eavesdrop