Free Finals by Alan Weisz Page B

because those uppity hags with yardsticks shoved up their cooches won’t take any half-ass malarkey. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I was so busy with school and trying to make friends that I definitely wouldn’t have had time to plan a murder.”
     
    “ So you’d venture to guess that freshmen or transfer students would not be a position to commit a crime due to their similar disposition?” Hayley asked, helping to destroy any strain of believability left from my suggestion.
     
    “ Sure, I’d say it is unlikely since they’re busy as shit. I think the murder was premeditated. This was no chance run-in where the poor motherfucker got knifed because he was in the wrong bathroom at the wrong time. Our killer knew that was the spot. He must have known the bathroom was gross and the probability of the forensic team finding plenty of DNA samples was high.”
     
    “ You think the dude was that smart?” Trevor said.
     
    “ Hell, yeah! Of all the places on campus, that location is money. In a sick way, the killer is fucking brilliant because he knew that even if the cops found his DNA, they would find tons of other suspects as well.”
     
    One side of my mouth slowly started to curl when she said the killer was fucking brilliant but I managed to keep my poker face. I was proud of my kill, but the fact that this profane reporter was gaining ground, did little to uphold my confidence.
     
    “ Fantastic reasoning, Vickie, I do agree that the killer intended to kill Brent in the men’s bathroom of the library. Now we need to determine how the killer knew Brent was going to be in the library at that juncture in the morning or better yet, why was Brent his intended target?” Hayley said, continuing to write up her case profile.
     
    “ Yeah, I mean, Brent was probably followed to the bathroom. Murderers are like cameo wearing rednecks, they stalk their prey to find out when their victim is most susceptible to an attack. In this case, it was when Brent’s trousers were down. I agree with you girl, the real question is why did this sick bastard have it out for Brent?”
     
    “ That my friends, is what we will find out. With limited resources at our disposal and no faculty encouragement, this undertaking will be a challenge. However, before this fiend dissolves into the shadows, justice will be had and our tale told to the community of St. Elizabeth. If there is one mistake this criminal made, it was underestimating the fortitude and willpower of our Gazette team. As a unit, there is nothing that can stand in our way. We will get this story, and we will get our man! ” Hayley said elatedly.
     
    “ Hell to the yeah!” Vickie followed, equally as stoked.
     
    The only speech I could think of that trumped Hayley’s in regards to pumping up idiotic accomplices was William Wallace’s speech about freedom in Braveheart . As I looked over at Vickie, she appeared like she would mess a few people up to learn the identity of the villain who had slaughtered Brent like a baby lamb. Even Trevor, who was usually apathetic and sleepy at this point in our meetings, had a twinkle in his eye that said, “I will follow you into battle, commander!”
     
    For every William Wallace in life, there is a Longshanks to counter the hero and in this instance, I was Longshanks. I was the bad guy. Yes, that’s right, Wayne York. I was the evildoer, and deep down I knew that these misguided fools wouldn’t have a chance because like any devious mastermind, I would stay one step ahead.
     
    “ So how do you propose we lure this fiend out of the shadows and uncover the truth?” I asked, becoming annoyed by this hopeful rouse.
     
    “ You see, our ultimate question is why was the killer after Brent? As Victoria alluded to, the killer planned to commit this act, he had a reason or a motive for doing so. We should try to find out if anyone on campus has a motive for wanting to murder Brent. Use your sources: friends, professors, et