was down standing there in her panties.
“Damien,” I groaned. “No, don’t do this. Don’t fall for it. Please, Damien.”
Damien peered at me through bleary eyes. I saw a hint of the real man glint there for a second, just a flash of the man I loved. And then his eyes glazed over and he told me to leave.
“I’m done ,” he mumbled. “I’ve had it with double-dealing women. Go find someone else to get back at Jenny with. Our contract is off. Just like that time with your fucked-up in the head sister.” The door slammed shut.
Just before Damien closed the door on me, on us and our life together, I saw Alexandra’s smug face, the victory shining in her eyes.
So she’d wanted Damien all along.
And now she had him.
I don’t recall much of what happened next, I’d lost the energy to fight and wanted nothing more than to curl up somewhere and lie down for about twenty years. I must have walked to the gates and into the hateful world beyond. What was the point in bothering anymore? Damien wouldn’t listen, not with the cocktail of whisky in his veins and poison dripped into his ear by Alexandra. It would be better to let it go, to simply give up. How many more times would I have to prove myself to Damien?
Fuck it, let Jenny win. Who cares?
I found myself in yet another taxi, only this time I was outside Rafe’s apartment block.
If anyone had told me that’s where I’d head for I’d have laughed in their face. What possessed me to think I’d find any solution to my problems at Rafe’s place? It must have been some kind of yearning for a time before all this started. Before Rafe and Jenny had done the dirty behind my back I suppose I’d been happy enough. It might be a little like that film with Keanu Reeves – The Matrix – I’d been plugged into the machine, not knowing what the world of hot, impulsive, risky sex with an exciting man could be like, and who knows, maybe if I’d married Rafe I’d never have known, would never have needed to now. Who’s to say I wouldn’t have been happy even? Perhaps that’s why I ended up in Rafe’s apartment with what seemed to be a glass the size of a fishbowl full of wine in my hand – I just wanted to turn back the clock to a time before heartbreak and the topsy-turvy world of Damien Taylor’s emotions.
“Hey, Kylie,” Rafe said in a soothing voice. “It’s OK. You just take your time; take as long as you want. Cry your tears and then tell me all about it.”
So I sobbed and sipped the wine, a Chardonnay I think, not that passionate blood red stuff that Damien turned me on to. I told Rafe everything, blurting it all on a cascade of tears. It all came out: my hopes as an actress, my feelings of helplessness over Damien, how I despised my sister.
I realized then that I’d probably blown my chance at being a bigger star than Jenny. The film would be busted out. They’d have to cast again and rework the whole thing. How much would that cost? Would Damien even bother?
“Shit, Rafe,” I said, spitting the words of bitter disappointment and a hefty dose of self-pity. “How did I end up in such a mess?” I eyed my wine glass stupidly as I wondered where all that wine had gone after I’d tried to take another sip and found the glass empty.
“I’ll get you another,” Rafe said, smooth as ever. He smiled down at me, his eyes soft and tender. “It’s great to have you here, Kylie,” he added before, with a long lingering look he left the room.
I lay across Rafe’s huge sofa and closed my eyes. The wine was working its magic and I felt the cotton-wool fuzz replace the harsh edges of real-life. I’d just drifted into a languid half-dream where I was a big star, the movie had broken records and my world was a lovely place filled with flowers and kittens and Damien Taylor loved me.
I felt Rafe’s presence, sensed him from behind closed eyelids, but was in such a wonderful