Free Femme Fatale Loved (Pericolo #3) by Kirsty-Anne Still Page B

been a warm-up; it’d be the real deal to knock the Dio Lavoro lifestyle back into me. If it wasn't for Lorenzo hearing my screams, he would've raped me that night."
    I can still remember how his hand felt against my face. The way one of them applied pressure and the way his words were spat into my ear, his breath heating my skin uncomfortably and the threats that kept me from sleeping most nights for fear they'd come true. The others cheering beside him doesn’t weaken either. My uncle ordering them to ambush me will never lessen. If anything, I cannot forgive him for that one. I wish I could repay him for that.
    “I started to switch off every day I woke up in that place. I lived all of that life numb until I just disconnected completely. Lorenzo was the only one who saw a side to me I closed off because he was the only one who cared enough to save someone. He saved me, and I felt myself put a trust in him that I used to put in you.”
    Zane reaches for my hand, as if holding onto me strengthens my courage to tell him everything.
    “There was one heist that went wrong, and my uncle ordered a man to be killed. Except I didn't have a chance to move out of the way before I felt blood hit my face. It smothered me, and I just stood there in shock. Even after he had dropped down dead and my uncle suggested we leave, I just stood there. Without Lorenzo, I wouldn't have moved from that spot. He just seemed to always be the one willing to look out for me."
    "I can see why you fell for him now. He was your hero when no one else was," Zane comments and although I know he's trying to keep the peace, the way he speaks paints a very different story.
    "I never loved him like I did you." I see that my words fail to reach Zane’s rationality; he doesn’t want to know of my past acquaintance with Lorenzo. “I never loved him,” I reiterate and grab Zane, forcing him to hear the truths that I know hurt him. I know my relationship with Lorenzo is a black mark, but it needs to be addressed. “You do know that, right? I know Lorenzo is old news, but I need you to understand it was only lust with him. I never felt anything close to what you make me feel. I just tricked myself into believing he was a substitute for you. Even now, I see how foolish that was. He never could love me like you did, and I only ever fantasized about you. I guess that is what stopped me from being a total lost cause. I couldn’t let go of you and the hope my heart had, and it meant I still felt something, somewhere.” I give him a small smile. “It gave me hope that you’d come back. Even when I thought all hope was lost.”
    There’s a bittersweet silence. I want Zane to understand every part of me, and even in this blissful domestication, shadows are still within me that I don’t dare allow light to enter. Now is the time to allow every bit of sunlight to penetrate and burn away the demons I keep within.
    “So please, don’t lose hope in me now.”
    When he reacts, it’s not how I expect. After his silence, I expected him to get up and try to realize that I loved him above any other man. But he doesn’t move to get away from me. He shuffles closer, his hands coming up to frame my face, and all I see in his face is a new fire.
    “I will never lose hope. It’s not something that will happen. When I thought you were going to die, I lost hope, but when I got you back, I knew that was it, sweetheart. We were going to have eternity together, and we’ve not even chipped the beginning of that.” His tone whips at me with confidence, with an unheeding will to make me realize once and for all. “Whatever happened between you and Lorenzo, however much it makes me bitter, is not going to change a damn thing. I wasted many chances on a wholesome life with you. Now that I have it, I’m not going to be reckless; not with this life, you, or your heart.”
    Whatever I thought I deserved, Zane only ever offers me the opposite.
    And in that, he offers me everything