Morganstern. One might suggest stiffening your upper lip, as it were, and bearing your burdens with good grace, eh hem?”
“Bah, what do you know, you silly female? Temperance, can’t you make that woman behave?”
“I think I do a pretty good job of making her behave.”
“Mr. Temperance!”
“Oops! I mean, she’s all right, Mr. Morganstern, sir. She don’t need no instructions from me. Miss Plumtartt’s carrying her own kit, and she ain’t complaining.”
“Burbity. I thought it was a bit of a laugh to carry this dwarf sword for a time, but it has gotten very heavy, very fast.”
“My word, Mr. Morganstern, if I can exchange my parasol for a dwarven war shield, then you, sir, can carry that sword.”
“At least our dwarf pals back there had these nifty miner’s lamps what run off carbide fumes for illuminating our path.”
“I say, Mr. Strongenfight, might we prevail upon you to expound upon this excavation’s history, eh hem?”
“Aye, Persephone. In an ancient time, before the Age of Plagues, this mountain was mined for her magical deposits.”
“Hunh, magical deposits? Do you mean y’all had mineral deposits of magic, the same as you might run into a vein of gold or copper ore?”
“Aye, Ichs of the Bod. Mining for magic is a tricky thing. The deeper and heavier the deposit, the more dangerous is the extraction. Sometimes, magic doesn’t want to be mined. Brave dwarven miners dug far and deep under these mystical mountains. The magic deposits played tricks on the miners, and they unknowingly carved a dangerous maze. No longer were they digging a mine, but constructing a dangerous labyrinth, to the whim of raw, wild magics. Deadly traps were built in, to defy unauthorized explorers. Eventually, a major mining party could not find its way out. The magic of the labyrinth had turned against them. With a retreat from the death trap denied to them, the hearty dwarves dug their way all the way through to the other side of the mountain range. The city of Duunnejonia was thus founded. We are the descendants of that brave expedition. It is said that in the ancient times, when there was still peace between the races, a combined force of dwarf and elf had once forced their way through the mines of malevolence, but that is a dubious rumour. After the Age of Plagues, hideous and evil creatures most foul took residence in the mines. None have made, nor even attempted the journey since.”
“Gee whiz, you mean we are the first folks to come through here in all that time? Well, maybe these old mines are settled down, and there ain’t nothing to worry about no more, whatcha think? Woah! ”
“My word, the floor has suddenly collapsed beneath Mr. Temperance! I say, by the whit of his amazing dexterity he is able to scramble back to our side of the hidden trap.”
“Harumph. Good thing we had someone expendable like the Temperance chap up there in the lead position. Just think of what could have happened had I been there.”
“By the Great Elders, verily, here is an explorer’s trap. Looking in, I see that it falls twenty spans into a pit of bubbling lava.”
“I say, you are correct, elf Legolamb. How are we to surpass this hurdle, eh hem?”
“Let us ask dwarf Strongenfight, Persephone.”
“Stand back as I swing my heavy battle axe about me head. Now that I have a good whirlwind of steel built up, I fling it with great strength to the other side like this: Aaaaahhhhh! The momentum of the heavy axe head has given me the needed inertia to carry me across the divide. Now Icky, be a brave dwarf and run and jump across. I will catch you if you make it within reach.”
“Yessir. Aaaah! Unh! Hey, you got me, Mr. Strongenfight! Thanks for pulling me up, buddy.”
“We will throw a rope across for Persephone. Tie the rope about yourself. When you run and jump, Ichs and I will pull you across and up.”
“Very well. I have the rope secured about my person. Be prepared, for I am running and