Free Running: The Autobiography by Ronnie O'Sullivan

in the first round of the German Masters. I was 4-0 down to Andrew Higginson and thought, I’m done for here; start the car. I’ve lost it. I obviously haven’t got it in me to win these important tournaments any more. The German is a ranking event, which means it’s classed as a major, whereas the Premier League is an invitation eventso they often invite people like Jimmy White and Steve Davis just to put bums on seats. No disrespect to them (they are two of my heroes, after all) but they are past their best. It was seen as Barry Hearn’s favourites who were invited to that, whereas a ranking event is open to all the top players in the world. Everybody wants ranking titles on their CV, the World and the UK being the most prestigious. But I’d just lost the ability to win them. Or so I thought.
    So I was 4-0 down, first to five. And I thought, either the standard’s getting really high or I’ve lost it. Or a combination of both. I’d been working with the sports psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters so I didn’t panic. I thought I was cueing well. I’d had a couple of chances, but not made the most of them. Rather than panic or get the hump, I thought, no, I’m here, I’m playing okay, a crowd of 2,500, just try to enjoy the experience. If you get beaten 5-0, you get beaten 5-0, but just give it your best, and that was the stuff I was working on with Steve Peters. Stay patient, and if I get a chance to put some pressure on the fella, you never know what’s going to happen.
    I won one frame to go 4-1, then I won another. And I won them in one visit, and quickly, which is always good for morale. So at 4-2 I thought, if he’s going to twitch he’s going to twitch now. It got to 4-3, and then he had a chance – he was on a 60-odd break, and there was a red over the hole, and I thought, well, I’m done now. Fuck, I’ve got beaten in another ranking event early doors. Then he kissed the green and four-ball snookered himself on the red over a hole. Unbelievable. You would have got odds of 1,000 to one on him doing that. I’ve got a bit of a chance here, I said to myself. But I was still 60 down, 4-3 down, and there was 67 on the table. So if he gets on the red he’s 61 ahead, 59 on the table and I’m out.
    But he didn’t pot that red. I then got a good long one, clearedup, 4-4, and I thought, bloody hell! Then I won the last comfortably. So I got through a match I was dead and buried in. He was gutted. I shook his hand, and he was gone. Andrew’s a good player ranked in the 20s. All these players coming through these days can beat the best at any time. Andrew looked like he was going to fall over. He was in a daze, and I was so pumped up. He was deflated, and I was elated. I thought, wow, that was a touch! Four-nil down, one ball from going out: you couldn’t have written it.
    When I got through to the quarters in Germany I thought that was a result because for two years all I’d been doing was last 16 at best. And then I got to the semi, and I thought, fuck I’m near a final. It was a shitty match against Stephen Lee; one of the only matches that season I felt: ‘I want out of here, I’ve had enough, count me out, I’d rather get home and watch it on the telly.’ Somehow I got through that match. I was there for the taking, but Stephen sat on the fence and once it got close I reckoned if he’s not been able to beat me yet and I’ve got this far then there’s a good chance I’m going to win.
    I got through to the final against Stephen Maguire and I thought, if I’m going to play in the final like I did in the semis, it’s going to be a long day. At the interval I was 3-1 down – Maguire had had three century breaks, basically hadn’t missed a ball, and I managed to nick a frame. And I thought, I’ve done well, I was 3-1 down, but I’d had a result. Was it always going to be like this against modern players? Every time you go out there you’re going to get your head punched about. Unless you make three