Free Dirty Little Secrets by Joy King

night. Eventually he dropped out
     of school and disappeared, and we lost all contact. My parents had me see a therapist for a while, and eventually I somewhat
     pulled it together mentally. But when I tried to find Patrick, I hit a dead end. It was as if Patrick just vanished off the
     face of the earth. I knew I was the one who pushed him away, and I had no right to think that once my mind was stable he would
     still be right there waiting for me. But Patrick and I had been through so much together that it caused me to take his feelings
     for granted. Not once did I consider that he might’ve needed my support. But now here he was, standing in front of me. I stared
     at him for a good minute. With his tall, dark strong build, Patrick’s presence was always felt, but even more so now with
     his new bling-blinglook. He was wearing a flashy Rolex watch and had two huge diamond studs in his ears. He was always a stylish dresser, but
     now he was immaculate.
    “Damn, Patrick, you looking good. I guess wherever you’ve been they’ve been treating you right.”
    “Not as good as if I had you.”
    “Funny, you seem to be doing just fine without me—not a card, a phone call, nothing,” I said, feeling genuinely disappointed.
     Patrick used to be my rock. I was attracted to how fly he was looking, but more than that, Patrick had the warmest smile I
     had ever seen.
    “Tyler, you know you’re the one who pushed me away. I couldn’t get you on the phone, and when I went to your house your father
     said you didn’t want to see me. I was devastated. There was nothing left for me here, so I bounced.”
    “I did come looking for you once I got my mind right, but you were nowhere to be found. Where have you been?”
    “I live in Chicago now.”
    “What you do in Chicago?”
    “A little bit of this, a little bit of that.” I glanced over Patrick again, checking out his gear. He looked like nothing
     but money. Young black man, doing this and that, looking like a million bucks, sounded like a pharmaceutical dealer to me.
     But no matter what his profession, Patrick still had the same gentle nature that attracted me to him in the first place.
    “So what brings you back to Atlanta?”
    “I had some business to take care of, but now that I ran into you hopefully it will also be pleasure.” Patrick smiled and
     I smiled back. I was happy to see him again, and I didn’t want him to leave. Patrick was supposed to be in and out of Atlanta
     quickly,but after our encounter he got a suite at the Four Seasons Hotel and I stayed with him. My best friend was finally back, and
     I started feeling complete again.
    The following weekend both of my parents were out of town, so I invited Patrick over for dinner and a movie. In the middle
     of dessert, out of a clear blue sky, Patrick said, “Tyler, do you ever think about that night?”
    “What night is that?” I asked, knowing he was talking about Trey’s death but trying to avoid the conversation.
    “Tyler, you know what night I’m talking about,” he said, determined not to let it go.
    “Patrick, it’s so hard. It seemed like it took forever for me to get over it, which I still haven’t. Things are going so good
     for us. Do we have to ruin everything by discussing Trey?”
    “Tyler, we can’t move forward until we can address the past. That incident is what tore us apart in the first place.”
    “I know, but it’s just so hard. I can’t get the image out of my mind of Trey blowing his brains out.”
    “Do you blame me for what happened? Tell me the truth.”
    “Of course not, Patrick; if anything, I blame myself. I know it must have been devastating for Trey to know his ex-girlfriend
     and his close friend were involved. I can’t help but wonder if maybe I should’ve been more sensitive to his feelings.”
    “Tyler, that wasn’t your fault. Trey had issues that ran deeper than anyone realized; you can’t blame yourself,” Patrick said
     as he held my hand.
    “I