Free The Drowning by Valerie Mendes Page A

sea.
    She froze.
    She remembered standing on the rocks, her shoulders burning, her heel bleeding, shrieking Benjie’s name into the silent blue. How she’d have given anything to have heard him call, “Hi, sis! I’m over here!”
    What if Benjie’s accident and his diary are somehow connected . . .
    Suppose the diary contains a clue to what happened to him that afternoon . . .
    Don’t I have a duty to read it?
    She turned her back on the sea and took refuge from the rain against the low wall of the chapel.
    Cradling her hand over the diary to protect its pages, she began to read:
Monday
We walked down the hill together after school, just G and me. I think she’s very special. The others didn’t notice. They went on ahead and left us alone. G always calls me Benjamin. I like that. I hate being called Benjie. It sounds so babyish. Mum calls me My own little Benjie. Yuck. Puke. Yuck.
Thursday
This afternoon we did work in pairs and I was a pair with G. The others started to giggle and point but I don’t care. Now they giggle and jump out at us when we walk down the hill together. She says, Benjamin, take no notice. So I don’t. As long as it’s G and me together I don’t care about them.
Saturday
    We said goodbye on the corner of the street while Mum was in a shop. G is going away for Easter and I won’t see her until next term. I’m very sad. I gave her a special present. She loved it. She put it on. She said, Goodbye, Benjamin. See you very soon. But soon feels like a long time away to me.
Sunday
I spent all day playing with Klunk and Splat, but all the time I thought about G. How she looked when she put my present on. How her eyes looked at me, all lovely and dark. I think she’s beautiful.
Tuesday
First day back at school. I could hardly wait to see G again. But as soon as she came into the classroom I knew something was wrong. She wouldn’t even look at me. She just pretended I wasn’t there. I walked home on my own and I couldn’t eat any tea or anything. Mum said, Oh, my little Benjie, whatever’s wrong. I said, Go to hell, under my breath, but she didn’t hear.
Wednesday
Everything is different. Something happened in the holidays. I don’t know what. G won’t be my pair any more. She says she can’t be my best friend. I said, Why not, why are you being like this? She wouldn’t tell me. And she won’t walk home down the hill with me. So I tried to pretend I didn’t care. When I got home I came up here and broke all my new radio into pieces and trod on them one by one.
Friday
G has ganged up against me with the others. I can’t believe it. After school I tried to tell Dad, but the tea room was full of silly people. I came up here and cried. I wanted to tell Jenn, but she was practising in her studio. She said, Go away, can’t you see I’m busy, we can talk later. But when later came I was tired and angry. I didn’t feel like talking any more.
Monday
They stopped me on the hill. All of them. I had to run to get away from them but then I fell over. My glasses came off and they laughed. I started to cry in front of everyone. I wish I didn’t do that. It made them point and laugh even more.
Wednesday
They’ve got a new song. I hate it. When I hear it I feel scared. I don’t know what they’re going to make me do. They sing, Bye bye baby try, You must do it, Do or die.
Monday
P is the worst. Twins can be terrible because they are so close. They are the leaders now, the two of them. Teacher doesn’t let them work in pairs in school but outside they are always together. It never used to be like that. I wish I had a twin. Together with my twin, we would fight back. Show all of them how mean we could be.
Friday
I wait for the others to go down the hill before I go home. Mum says, Where were you, why are you so late? But I don’t tell her anything. Dad is always cooking and Jenn is always dancing. There’s nobody I can tell.
Monday
They want me to do something really terrible. If I do they say