Free The Drowning by Valerie Mendes Page B

they will leave me alone. I’ve said, no, I won’t do it and I don’t care about them. I don’t care about anybody now.
    Jenna closed the notebook. There was more, but she could not face it.
    She looked across at the sea, suddenly hearing its roar, tasting its salty spray on her lips. A cold, solid anger gripped her heart, followed by remorse.
    None of us were there for him. Who are these twins who made his life such a misery?
    Jenna suddenly realised with a shock that she’d known none of Benjie’s friends. Mum hadn’t exactly run an open-door household. When Benjie was home, he’d almost always been alone, in his room doing his homework or playing, or watching television in the living room. Occasionally, when Benjie had had someone round, Jenna’s own punishing schedules had meant she was somewhere else at the time. Now, there was no one to whom Jenna could turn to ask.
    Sunk in her thoughts, she hardly noticed the walk home.
    In her room, she slid the diary into her desk, dreading the next instalment.
    She climbed the stairs with Aunt Tamsyn and opened the door of Benjie’s room.
    “I hope you’ll be comfortable.”
    Her aunt flung her small suitcase on the bed. “I’m sure I will . . . Everything looks extremely neat and tidy.”
    Jenna swallowed. “I cleaned the room this morning, packed Benjie’s toys away. Dad asked me to. We hadn’t touched it since—” She clutched at her aunt. “Will it get better,Tammy? I can’t stand much more of this.”
    Her aunt stroked Jenna’s hair. “I’ll take your mother off your hands for a bit, give you and Elwyn a chance to get your bearings.”
    “You won’t mind?”
    Tamsyn gave a short laugh. “Look, I’ll be working as usual. I’ll give Lydia a key and she can come and go as she likes. In the evening we’ll have a meal together and she can tell me how she’s spent the day. I’ll take her to a couple of shows in the West End.”
    Jenna said bitterly, “Lucky her!”
    “Yes, well, it’ll serve its purpose. She’ll get over this black depression, I promise you. We’ll have her back to work in no time.”
    Jenna moved to the window. Lights from the town had begun to pierce the rain in tiny showery sparks. “I’m not sure we will.”
    “What do you mean?”
    Jenna shrugged. “Just a feeling . . . Benjie was the centre of her life. She’s never liked me much. Dad’s done his best to comfort her, but she uses him like a drudge. I saw them when they got back this afternoon. She looked bored out of her skull. He looked shattered. He made a real effort for her birthday: flowers, breakfast in bed, gave her a necklace he’d spotted in town, lunch at the Porthminster . . .”
    Tamsyn said grimly,“She doesn’t know how lucky she is.”
    Jenna looked across at her. “Too right. Mum despises Dad for loving her so much. Secretly she thinks he’s a mug. She can twist him round her little finger.”
    Tamsyn flushed. “He deserves better than that. He’s always been the most wonderful brother. He should have someone who loves him back.”
    “Yes.” Jenna ran her tongue over her lips. “Do you know what I wish?”
    “What?”
    “That he’d find somebody else . . . Trouble is, my dad’s not like that. He’d not even look at another woman, not in a hundred years.”
    That night Jenna took the diary from her desk and huddled into bed with it.
    I’ve got to read the rest of this . . .
    It’s like it’s burning into my brain.
Wednesday
The twins want me to steal from Dad’s till in the café. They said it would be easy. Do it when he’s not looking. I said, NO WAY. There’s no way I’ll let you turn me into a thief. They just laughed. They said if I didn’t they would tell me to do something even worse. That I had one week to do it and then it would be something worse.
Friday
I don’t want to go to school. I told Mum I felt sick. I stayed in bed. I didn’t eat anything all day. I played with Klunk and Splat. I set up the train in a different