Free My Little Phony - 13 by Lisi Harrison

like overripe green grapes, while Landon’s was orange-rind hard. Was he nervous? Was he less experienced than she’d suspected?
    Ehmagawd,
thought Massie.
    Was she doing it wrong?
    Her amber eyes snapped open. His blue ones were staring back at her. She’d learned in art class that if you drew the whites on all sides of the iris, your subjects wouldn’t look natural—they’d look scared. And that’s when she realized: Landon looked… panicked.
    Her mind spun faster than the Truth or Dare app on her iPhone. Was there something on her face? Was it possible he didn’t like the taste of the Glossip Girl? Had she slobbered on him?
    Then, from behind Landon, Massie heard a wobbly, older voice ask, “And who is this, dear?”
    Huh?
    Slowly, Massie peeked around Landon and came face-to-screen with his desktop. And right there on the open screen were two very sweet-looking old people, smiling thinly. One of them waved.
    “Grandmom, Gramps, this is Massie Block, the girl I told you about.” Landon turned to her, the look of panic not yet gone from his face. “Massie, I was just G-video-chatting them to thank them for my birthday present.”
    “Oh, my,” said his grandfather. “She sure is… fast.”
    Fast?
Was that old people for
skanky
?
    Landon’s grandmother frowned, the lines in her face as deep as the Grand Canyon. “Landon, I thought you said she was a
nice
girl.”
    Massie felt like the pores on her face had exploded into flames. Her brain was functioning on slo-mo, and she’d lost all feeling in her lips. Through the haze she decided she could a)pretend she was May-see, Massie’s vixeny twin sister, b) start choking and claim the kiss was simply life-saving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, c) laugh it off, as if she broadcast her lip kisses over the Internet
awl
the time, or d)…
    RUN.
    Without another glance at Landon, she spun on her Betsey Johnson heels, scrambled into the hallway, and clacked down the wooden steps—past the Zen-chic foyer, past a confused-looking Mrs. Crane (who shouted a confused “You’re not staying for cake?”), all the way out to the flagstone front walk. It wasn’t until she was halfway down the driveway that she realized she’d forgotten Bean.
    “Arggg!” she whisper-groaned. But going back into the Crane household would be like choosing to shop at Payless: It was never going to happen. So she sent ESP waves to her pup, hoping Bean understood that she’d send Isaac to retrieve her in the morning.
    As she glanced over her shoulder at the three-story brick house, for one brief moment she dared to dream that Landon might come after her with Bean in his arms, Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” blaring from his iPhone, shouting for her to come back inside and eat cake and be her forever-crush.
    But then she reached the end of the driveway.
    And then the end of the street.
    And then the end of the next one.
    And the only thing following Massie was the sinking realization that her life was over.
     
CURRENT STATE OF THE UNION
IN
 
OUT
Diss Kiss
 
Aqua-Bliss Kiss
Puppy love
 
People love
Granny cam
 
Nanny cam
     

THE BLOCK ESTATE
    MASSIE’S ROOM
    Tuesday, December 9th
    8:03 P.M.
     
     
    It was Tuesday evening, one day after picking up the roaches at Karma Chameleon and T-minus ten minutes from placing them in their intended location. The Block Estate was dark and forbidding.
    “You’re positive no one’s home?” Layne asked.
    “We’re in the clear until at least eight thirty.” Earlier that evening, Claire had brought Isaac some of her mom’s famous hot chocolate and casually asked what he had on tap for the evening. After dropping Kendra and William at a fundraiser at the country club at seven fifteen, he’d said, he would be escorting Massie to Landon Crane’s house for birthday cake, all the while waiting five blocks away in case Bean got a case of doggie-sushi and had to be taken home. Then he’d narrowed his bushy brows at Claire and