Free Brothers of the Head by Brian Aldiss

who tried all the time to finish it all. She’s the best girl you could ever meet, a real life-giver, though she’s gone now, more’s the bloody pity. Oh, I’d have whitewashed the sky for her, believe me. Don’t listen to any malice, we were the ones involved and we could tell you different if we was the kind to speak up, like those others.’
    â€˜I see. Paul, is there any chance I can get in touch with Laura if my brothers want to see her again?’
    He looked down at the concrete steps and shuffled his feet.
    â€˜You ought to get her over if you can.’
    â€˜Have you any idea where she might be now?’
    â€˜She must be suffering, wherever she is. I only hope she can hold up. She always walked on a precipice. It was Chris Dervish, now dead, who did for her. He freaked her out on acid – maybe you’ve heard. Poor love, she tore all her clothes off of her. That lawyer guy Couling was down at Humbleden that weekend, and there was a gang-bang, with him involved and of course bloody Dervish, and most of the rest of the lads. Me too, yes, me too. She was so plastered. She was round the bend for a while after. I will say that I’ve never forgiven myself, and this time I have had my chance to make it up to her.’
    â€˜Did Mr Bedderwick get to know about this?’
    â€˜Couling went bananas after, paid us all to keep our traps shut. I really love Laura, Robbie, and would do anything for her, anything. It’s not just guilt. She has a heart of gold, I mean I wrote all my best songs about her and that’s about all I’m good for. I doubt if I shall ever write another song. I’m washed up. Maybe I can get myself together in the States.’
    â€˜Why did you all break up like this?’
    He stared bitterly across the marshes.
    â€˜They was all against us. You can’t imagine what the pressure’s like. Success is a bastard. In the end she couldn’t stand it. And Barry is cruel, full of rage against what he is. You know, it’s his make-up, I don’t
blame
him in any way.’
    â€˜Barry’s never cruel. It’s just what he’s suffered.’
    Paul scratched his head and did not contradict. ‘Oh, he loved her same road as Tom and me did. You had to love Laura … Well … Anyhow, I thought I’d tell you so as you can understand. Hope you don’t mind the grisly details.’
    â€˜Where can I get in touch with Laura?’
    He gave me a light kiss on the cheek.
    â€˜If I knew that, d’you think I’d be hanging round here?’
    A man came out of the station and pointed at a board we had not noticed. A sign on it announced that there would be no more trains that day. There was a one-day strike involving the footplate men of the region.
    Paul would not come back to the Head with us. In the end, we left him standing in the sunshine. It was the last we saw of him.
    That year was the very hot summer. The drought became so severe that wildlife began dying. All the windows of our house were open for weeks on end. Our poor old retriever Hope got a stroke from the heat and died; we buried him in the dunes. My brothers used to swim in the sea and the dykes every day. They took to going naked again, as when they were boys, despite my father’s complaints, for we had many visitors to the bird sanctuary as summer advanced. The curse of silence had fallen on them.
    A day came when Laura Ashworth showed up. She came over in Bert Stebbings’ tourist boat from the Staithe just as if she was a tourist. First thing I knew, there was this woman tapping at the kitchen door. It was still funny not having Hope to bark at visitors. I dried my hands and went to see who it was.
    She looked ever so old and smart at first, so I couldn’t grasp who she might be. I’d expected a teenager, I don’t know why, instead of this lady in her thirties, in a skirt and everything. I must have appeared a proper fool in my