Free Our Chance (Los Rancheros #4) by Brandace Morrow

have to hurry so my kids don't catch us. At least now you know what to do with your tongue."
    We laugh together as he holds out his hand. "High five for experience." I slap his hand, but he closes his around mine and pulls me to him. I slide on the hardwood floor as he reels me in.
    He gives me a wet kiss. "I have a ton to do in the orchard. I need to go."
    I stand up. "Me too."
    As Brody leaves out the backdoor, he turns. "When do the kids get out of school?"
    I turn from walking out of the kitchen archway. "Three thirty, why?"
    He shrugs. "I just wanted to see how their first day went. I want them to like it here."
    As I throw in a load of towels, including the dirty kitchen towel, I try and process what's happening. Did Brody really break up with his girlfriend of a year because of me? Did we really agree to date? Am I really going to start dating? Isn't this all happening really fast? How will the kids react? The rest of our family? My mind churns with questions I don't have any answers to.
    As I throw the damp dishtowel into the washer, I feel the tears come. My breath sobs out forcefully from my chest. I slam the lid down, the sound echoing in the long room. Backing up, my knees buckle as I connect with the wall. I drive my hands through my hair.
    What have I done? I’ve been celibate for longer than I was married. So why do I feel like I’ve cheated? There’s a weight in my chest, a sense of betrayal that burns my heart. Maybe because there’s always been a part of me that belonged to Brody. Sebastian made me feel like I was the exception to the rule when he picked me, loved me. Brody felt like I was the rule. Made me feel like no one could ever reach the bar I had set. As a teen, that feeling was a comfort, but easily taken for granted. Now, as a woman, I know those feelings were a gift.
    Sebastian loved me. I know he did. But the Army took him away for over half of our marriage; I became independent in a way I never knew possible.
    The swinging door beside me opens. My mother stands there with her hands on her hips. “This is the second time in as many days I’ve caught you in a meltdown, girl. That boy always did get you tied up in knots. Come tell me over coffee, darlin’.”
    I accept her hands and she pulls me up and into a brief hug. When we’ve doctored our cups, we sit at the island and I let out a long sigh. Mom reaches over and pats my hand a few times before picking her mug up to blow on her drink, letting me start when I’m ready.
    “Mom . . . Brody is so . . . and I’ve been alone . . . but he’s just . . . and then the kids and Sebastian . . .” I ramble as my thoughts race.
    “Okay, Jules. So you’re saying Brody is his usual intense self, but you aren’t the same person he knew and he’s not giving you any adjustment time to moving here. Not to mention, you don’t want to freak out the kids or disrespect Sebastian. Did I get everything?” she sums up effortlessly, understanding me in a way that only one’s mother can.
    "Yes", I sigh, wilting onto the table. I rest my head in my hands for a second before turning my head to look at her. "What do I do, Mom?"
    I watch her purse her lips as she studies the top of her drink, as if the answers are written on the surface. Her blue eyes flash up to mine and I sit up straighter under their intensity. "You know your priorities. The kids come first. Everything has to be with them in mind. This isn’t high school, and you both need to learn what kind of adult relationship you have while catering to the feelings of your children. They have a routine, don’t turn that inside out. Go slow. Do not let him shoulder his way in here."
    I think about how Brody had done nothing but shoulder his way in since I got here and I feel my eyes squint into a glare. This has to be on my terms, with my kids’ best interest in mind.
    "Thanks, Mom. I know what I have to do," I say as I get up and put my cup in the sink. Brody doesn’t know me, not after eleven