Free Dreams of Sex and Stage Diving by Martin Millar Page B

up, and get
Water in, ere Sun be set.
Wash your Pailes, and dense your Dairies;
Sluts are loathsome to the Fairies:
Sweep your house: Who doth not so,
Mab will pinch her by the toe.
    â€”HERRICK
    Â 
    Elfish was slightly suspicious of this, feeling that possibly all this talk of sluts and uncleanliness might be aimed at her, but Aran assured her it was not.
    â€œIt just so happened that the only Mab poem I could find was
about being clean and tidy. What’s wrong? You don’t seem very pleased.”
    Elfish admitted that she was a little disappointed because the poem was by the same person who had written the verse Mo sent to her.
    â€œI was hoping for something even more obscure than Herrick so that Mo would know I could not be intimidated by Cody’s learning.”
    â€œI’m sorry, Elfish, it was the best I could do. I spent hours searching and of course I’m an expert at this sort of thing. I don’t think there are any more poems about Mab.”
    What Aran had actually done was walk reluctantly to the library and flick through a volume of Herrick’s collected works. It had taken him no more than fifteen minutes but he knew that Elfish was not going to realise this. He figured that this counted as quite a lot of work anyway, particularly as he should have been at home watching daytime television.
    Elfish shrugged.
    â€œWell, it will do anyway. No doubt when Mo sees this he will be filled with terror and remorse, and realise that I am well on the way to another success. Not that there was ever any doubt about me succeeding anyway.”
    â€œSo have you learned the rest of the speech?”
    â€œWell, no,” admitted Elfish.
    â€œHave you remembered the bit you forgot?”
    â€œOnly up to line two. But I’m sure I’ll do better tonight. Before that though I have to go and see May who lives on the Tulse Hill estate. I’ve heard she’s a good guitarist so I’m going to recruit her. What’s her address?”
    Aran frowned. May was not a good memory for him. She had been one of his attempts to seek physical comfort after his breakup with his girlfriend.

    â€œWhat’s the matter? Can’t you remember the address?”
    â€œYes I can.” Aran frowned.
    â€œBut it is not a very nice memory apparently. Why not?”
    Aran drummed his fingers on the armchair he occupied, raising a small cloud of dust.
    â€œShe’s in a bad way. We went to bed after a party and when I was undressing her she burst into tears.”
    â€œSo the rumours about you are true,” sniggered Elfish.
    â€œI was entirely free from blame. The problem was she couldn’t bear to let anyone undress her because it reminded her too much of being strip-searched in jail in Northern Ireland. She was on remand in prison for joyriding and in that month she was strip-searched five times before they found her not guilty and let her go.
    â€œThe last time was a big search involving women officers in riot gear and the prisoners tried to protest. May was thrown on the floor and got her head banged and her clothes ripped off. Male officers were walking up and down the corridor outside looking in and making comments. May ended up with bruises on her back, and a swollen face. She says she came to England to get over it but from the way she started crying at the memory I’d say she has some way to go.”
    Another sicko, thought Elfish, with some disgust.
    â€œWell, that’s fine,” she said. “Playing guitar with me is just the thing to bring her out of it. Or not, as the case may be. Just so long as she can play, I don’t care.”
    Elfish left Aran’s intending to have another attempt at memorising Shakespeare before visiting May but was sidetracked after meeting Tula for a lunchtime game of pool and finding that she had just been paid for four days’ work delivering telephone directories.
    â€œI must go,” said Elfish. “I