Free Callahan's Fate by Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy Page B

away.
    With a burst of resolve, Callahan put
down the bottle.   He screwed the lid back
in place and stared at it.   As if she
were present, he heard his Aunt Birdie’s voice in memory, the words as tragic
and powerful as they had been back then. “Buddy, don’t get hooked on anything,
not booze or drugs or even cigarettes,” she had told him.   Then she lit one and took a hard drag. “It’s
not worth it, and it’ll destroy you.   Be
better than me.   Be stronger and braver
and tougher.   Do it for me, kid, and remember.”
      I wish Aidan had remembered what you said,
Auntie, he thought. I wish I’d
reminded him.   If I had, maybe he’d still
be alive.
    If he allowed himself to start thinking
about his brothers, he’d drain the bottle and go out for another.   Callahan resisted and realized he had one
lifeline, one thing to prevent him from getting drunk, one ray of light to
combat the darkness threatening to consume him— Raine .
    Cal picked up his cell, then put it down.   What the hell would he say to her? Should he share the truth and tell
her about his brothers? If he did, would she judge him? He reflected on their
conversation on the pier.   She said she
wouldn’t.
    He yielded and phoned her.   When her voice filled his ear, he welcomed
it.   “Hey, baby,” he said. “It’s me.”
    “I know. So you made it home?”
    “Of course I did.”
    Although he schooled his voice to sound
normal, he must have failed because her tone changed.
    “You sound funny.   Are you okay?”
    “Yeah, sure, I’m good.” He tried to
sound cheerful.
    “I don’t think so,” Raine said. “Callahan, what is it?”
    “Aw, shit.” His tongue tied into a
knot.   Where in hell would he begin to
tell his tale of woe?
    “Talk to me,” she told him. “What’s
happened?
    When he made no answer, she drew a hard
breath. “Oh, God, did you run into Bull and his bunch or something?”
    Her intuition impressed him.   Somehow Raine understood whatever had messed him up was connected.   “That’s close, but not quite,” he said.   “What happened earlier, it brought back some
memories, and they’re not good ones, baby.”
    “Oh, honey.” Callahan marked the
endearment, the first she’d used toward him.   “Is it something about the Marshes, or is it about your brother?”
    The question struck his heart like a
well-aimed arrow.   Although he resisted
the urge to drain the rest of the bottle, the raw emotion threatened to bring
him down hard.   “How do you know that?”
he asked.   His voice broke.
    “I listen,” Raine told him. “From some of the things you said and the way you talked about your
brothers, I figured something had happened and you’d lost at least one of
them.”
    Her calm, soft voice with its almost-Southern
flavor usually soothed him, but at the moment she evoked his bitter grief and
heavy guilt.   Callahan wanted to rage and
weep simultaneously, but he drew on what willpower he had remaining and didn’t.
“They’re both gone,” he said after a pause. “Anthony and Aidan are dead.”
    “Cal, I’m so sorry.   I can’t imagine dealing with that kind of
loss.   Do you want to talk about it?”
    His reply shot from his mouth.
“No!”   When she made no reply, he said.
“Yes.   I do, and I don’t.   If I talk about it, it becomes real and I
have to deal with it.   Most of the time,
I’d rather not.   But when I don’t…”
    “It eats you alive,” she said. “Why,
though?”
    Callahan shut his eyes and took the
plunge. “Because it’s my fault that my brothers are dead, Raine .”
    He waited, certain she would hang up or
say something terrible.   After a long
pause, she spoke. Her voice sounded as if she choked on tears, but he couldn’t
be sure. “Even though I don’t know what happened, I don’t believe that.   I may not have known you very long, but I
think I know you well enough that I can’t imagine any way you would be
responsible.”
    Raine