Free The Opposite of Geek by Ria Voros

place marries us, with the baristas
    as witnesses. We have blueberry coffee
    cake and chai tea at the reception.
     
Reality: We Get Chatting in the Coffee Shop
    We talk about music and Japanese food, what we want to be, what we don’t want to be.
    He asks if I’ve told The Board about our date.
    “It’s not really their business,” I say. I don’t say I haven’t even told them about him at all.
    “Won’t they approve?” he teases.
    “Who cares if they don’t? I want something just for myself,” I say, leaning in enough to make him catch his breath.
    He can’t stop looking at me and I have this squishy feeling in my stomach. My chai tea and blueberry coffee cake are only half-drunk/eaten because we’ve been talking so much.
    By 5:46 I realize we could go on like this all night.
    “You need to go?” he asks.
    “No, I’ll just make a call,” I say, and get up, pulling out my first generation phone.
    “Whoa, that’s old school!” he says and grabs for it.
    “Yes, I know, it’s been passed down through the family for hundreds of years.”
    He laughs, examining the phone like it’s actually an antique.
    “I thought everyone was born with one of
these
nowadays.” He holds out his shiny version.
    I take it from him and tease, “Who says
nowadays
nowadays?”
    He pokes me in the stomach and I squeal.
    A few old people look up from their coffees and frown.
     
Ringtone Love
    Before he drops me off at the end of my driveway,
    he leans over like he’s going to kiss me,
    instead shows me his phone.
    “Guess what you are?” he says.
    “Um, a great catch?”
    “For sure,” he laughs. “But I mean
    your ringtone. James is the Star Wars theme.
    My dad is Darth Vader.”
    “Really?”
    He shrugs. “I was kind of pissed at him
    when I programmed it, but now it fits.
    He gets a kick out of it.”
    He looks at me with the cutest, waiting-est
    look on his face.
    “Um, an ewok?” I ask,
    inside thinking,
please be Princess Amidala, please
    be Princess Amidala
.
    He finds my name in his phone
    and Natalie Portman’s voice makes me smile.
     
The Wrong Girl
    I come through the door a respectable thirteen minutes before the nine o’clock deadline and they are all sitting on the couch watching
The Muppet Show
. Really. For a second I wonder if I’ve stepped into a time warp.
    “How was it?” Layla asks suspiciously, as if she knows it was not a visit to Ashlyn’s house, which is my cover.
    “Fine. We went over Spring Fair stuff. Her dog just had a litter of puppies. We played with them.” I lean against the back of the couch. “Why are you watching this?”
    “Your sister’s choice. It brings us back to our first days in Canada,” my dad says. “I learned English from shows like this.”
    It’s oddly disturbing to see them all together on the couch, doing something so familial without me. Not that I wanted to be here at all. “Well, I’m going to do my homework. Goodnight.” I turn to go.
    “We’re due a progress report soon, aren’t we?” my mum says.
    I shrug. “I guess.”
    “And we’re really pleased to hear about the initiative you’re showing with the Food Club. Good leadership skills.”
    I know where she’s going with this.
These are all traits of a good doctor. We couldn’t be happier that you are cramming yourself into the box we picked out for you!
    “Yeah, well …” I keep inching backwards, hoping they’ll get distracted by Miss Piggy.
    “By the way,” Dad says. “My friend Harold — you remember him? — he says he’d be happy to have you visit him when he’s working in the hospital so you can ask some questions and learn a little about what he does. Being an anaesthetist is very lucrative.”
    “Okay,” I say. “I’m going to go now.”
    “That’s very nice of him,” Mum says. “Isn’t it, Gretchen?”
    “Yes, it’s very nice of him. I’m tired, so …”
    Finally something funny happens on the TV and Layla howls. I don’t wait around to finish