Free A Tapless Shoulder by Mark McCann

they
actually hadn’t. Oh, am I still doing that?
That is so weird how I’m still doing that. No more drugs for me –
are those drugs?
    She found my
befuddled state quite amusing and smiled broadly. “Was that a
question or a statement, honey?” She pulled lipstick out from
somewhere, my attention was no longer noting minor details of any
kind, and began applying it to her face. I merely assumed it to be
on her lips. I was done taking inventory of any kind.
    “ Again, no… not honey,” I said flustered, now oblivious to
what it was I had said. I finally looked at her directly and opened
my mouth, “I mean, you two, aren’t, uh, shit, ah.” I trailed off
like I was trying to teach a child the sounds letters made. Next I
was just standing and breathing, and it seemed to help. Clarity of
mind, I told myself, yes,
I’ll try that, since the crap
mind let me down. “They’re
for show, I mean, it’s obvious that you put them there for show, or
had them put there, to be touch, to, er, looked at,” I corrected
myself, and fought an incredible urge to punch my own face. Would you excuse me please? I’m just
going to take this moment and flush it down the
toilet.
    “ That doesn’t mean,” I paused. It was obvious I didn’t know
where my line of thought was going, yet I followed anyway because
it was all I had. “Well, I don’t really know what that doesn’t mean. I do know that it doesn’t make it right. Not
that you are not
right , you’re right as rain,
right? I mean, like happy, you want to be happy, and as you are or
however you are or want to be, and… um, I should shut my face up
before I start singing to you,” I laughed nervously. “‘Right as
rain,’ I don’t even know what that means,” my hands went up like I
needed help. “The situation,” I thought I’d try again, “isn’t right
for someone… who seems to be me. So yeah, I think I really should
be going. I have to get up early for work tomorrow,” I surmised. I
pulled my phone from my pocket, I hadn’t realized it, but it was
already after one. At this rate I would only have a few hours to
sleep, and there were three missed messages and a missed
call.
    Why hadn’t I
heard my phone? I wondered angrily. “I’m sorry but I really should
get going,” I said, intending to wrap everything up right then and
there. At that moment I was investing my life in the theory of less
was better, survival of the one going, LA LA LA LA LA LA , the loudest.
    “ Okay,
honey,” she said, at which I raised my eyebrows to remind her of my
earlier attempts at dissuading such talk, “in case you were
wondering, my parents call me Richard, but you can—”
    “ BYE,” I shouted and turned, opening the door to the sound
of her laughter, as she yelled at me, “Candy, honey, its Candy .”

Chapter 9 … Hold Me
     
    The door was
unlocked, and most of the lights were off. Katie was lying in bed
with her iPad, which she lowered when I leaned over to kiss her.
She smiled at me as I ran my hand down her side and along her
thigh.
    “ Mm, should
we do it?” I asked with my face against her cheek, which I kissed a
couple more times, something I compulsively had to do.
    “ Mm, no ,” she said, with a
tiny little laugh right after. “Love, you need to get some
sleep.”
    “ Oh, I know,” I said. “You will not believe the frigging
night I just had – like you seriously won’t believe it. I’m on the
verge of going to my doctor for depression and this shit happens to
me.” I exhaled dramatically, not sure where to begin. I thought she
should wildly guess at five random things that could have happened and I’d just say she was right.
    “ Oh, why,
what is Nate up to now?” she asked rolling her eyes.
    “ Nate is just freaking out because he thinks someone is
trying to kill him. We have no idea who, which doesn’t surprise me
because nothing about tonight
made sense . I mean, why
should we have answers to stuff like that? That would just