Free Seized (Hostage Rescue Team Series, #7) by Kaylea Cross Page B

couldn’t be together, he’d have to tell her about Danny. That old wound that still festered inside him.
    Outside the building Carmela headed for the curb, but Sawyer stopped her with a hand on her elbow. “Let’s grab a coffee or something,” he said. He could use the jolt of caffeine.
    For a moment he thought she’d argue but then she nodded and walked beside him down the sidewalk. After what had happened earlier he was hyper-vigilant now, watching for any signs of possible danger. Even when they found a coffee shop and he was sitting in the corner with his back to the wall to provide the best sightline in the place, he still stayed alert.
    Nobody was threatening Carmela’s safety again, and definitely not on his watch. Once was inexcusable enough.
    She slid into the chair opposite him and wrapped her hands around the paper cup holding her skinny vanilla latte, the set of her shoulders tense. “So,” she murmured without looking up. “We going to do this now, then?”
    “Yes.”
    Her gaze lifted, that pretty golden brown stare locking with his and he felt that instant punch of connection again, deep in his gut. God, he’d missed her these past couple months. Even just talking, being free to contact her whenever he felt like it, the way things had been before. It was impossible for him to switch off his feelings for her. He just hoped he was hiding them well enough at the moment. Because if he gave her any indication at all about how he really felt for her and what he really wanted, they’d both be screwed.
    Carmela was a determined woman. When she wanted something she went after it. If she sensed hesitation or any weakness on his part, she’d push until he gave in, and he couldn’t risk putting himself in that position because he was afraid what little resistance he’d managed to hold onto so far would crumble and he’d give in. He couldn’t afford to let that happen.
    She straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin. “Okay. So. Where do you see us going from here? Because I can’t flip some invisible switch and pretend we’re back to being just friends now.” She shook her head, dark waves moving softly around her face. “I’ve tried and I just can’t do it.”
    God, when she put it like that he felt even worse.
    Under the scrutiny of that stare he struggled not to shift in his seat. His damn shoulder was now hurting enough to irritate him.
    Here goes nothing. He made himself look into her eyes as he spoke. “I’m sorry about what happened at the hospital. If I could go back and undo it—”
    “Would you?” she demanded, anger and frustration in her gaze. “Do you really regret it that much?”
    He wanted to lie, tell her yes, he regretted kissing her that day. But her unrelenting stare made it impossible. Even after all his years in SF and the countless foreign internal defense missions where he’d lived and worked with Afghan villagers and militias, he was still a shitty liar and couldn’t pull off a poker face to save his life.
    He cleared his throat, tried to figure out what to say that might help salvage their relationship while keeping them firmly in the friend zone, all without hurting her more. God knew both of them were suffering enough right now as it was.
    And no matter what, he couldn’t let her find out that he secretly craved her with every breath. He knew she’d never let it go if he did.
    “I shouldn’t have done it. I crossed the line, and for that I’m sorry.”
    She leaned back and folded her arms across her chest, then simply stared at him for a long moment, studying him. Weighing his words.
    He tried like hell not to notice the way the pose pushed her breasts up and together, but he was only human. And her breasts were something he’d fantasized about more times than he cared to admit.
    “Well I’m sorry you’re sorry. Because from where I was standing, at the time it didn’t feel like a mistake to me.”
    No, it had felt fucking amazing, and that was the