Free My Own Mr. Darcy by Karey White

business wanting to snuggle in closer. What
was I thinking?
    And then, near the end of
the song, he pulled my hand in closer and his steps became smaller. His arm
tightened around me and I was frustrated with how good it felt. I knew I should
want the song to end immediately and yet I dreaded that last note.
    Chad didn’t let go until
the last note had faded out completely. We stood there for just a moment after
the music ended. Then he brushed his lips against my temple. I had a little
trouble catching my breath. I wasn’t supposed to let him like me. And I wasn’t
supposed to like the way it felt in his arms. I needed some air and some
perspective.
    “Do you have to help clean
up?” I asked. Chad’s hand was still on my back.
    “Not technically. My job
is to wait until all the students are gone. Last time I chaperoned, I helped
put away chairs and tables.” His hand was still on my back.
    “I can help.”
    “Are you sure you don’t
mind? If you’re tired, you can just sit down and wait for me.” His hand was
still on my back.
    “I don’t mind at all.
Should I help clean up the refreshments or help you with the chairs?”
    “Whichever you want.” His
hand was still on my back.
    “I’ll just go help with
the refreshments.”
    “I’ll come get you in a
few minutes,” Chad said. He took his hand off my back and moved toward some
chairs.
    When the students were all
gone and the gymnasium again looked like a gymnasium, Chad drove me home.
    “That might have been the
most fun I’ve ever had at a school dance,” Chad said.
    “More fun than with
scavenger hunt girl?” I asked.
    “Definitely more fun than
that. I don’t think she actually wanted to go with me that night,” Chad said
    “I had fun. I wish I’d
recorded you dancing. I could have made a fortune off that.”
    “Thanks for coming.” Chad
hugged me and I wished we were still on the dance floor. It was much easier to
pull away when we were surrounded by dozens of teenage eyes. Here, by
ourselves, I just wanted to burrow into his arms and stay there. I knew I
needed to go inside. Chad held me close with one hand and played with my hair with
the other. I tried to call to mind Matt’s face and when that didn’t work I
thought about Mr. Darcy. Even his face was a little hazy. All I could really
think about was how warm and solid Chad felt and how much I wanted to stay
right where I was.
    “I’d better go,” Chad
said. He took a step back and smiled at me, his hand still touching my hair.
    “I’ll talk to you soon?” I
said.
    “Yeah. Very soon.”
     

    I ADDED A SLICE of cheese
to my turkey sandwich and put it in a sandwich bag.
    “Not going to the book
store for lunch today?” Janessa asked.
    “I am but I thought I’d
eat a real sandwich on my way over today. Matt’s killing me with all the
vegetarian food. Yesterday he ordered soup that was more like a peanut and
vegetable paste. And it smelled bad. I couldn’t eat it and I was starving by
the end of the day.”
    “Has he ever asked you what
you want to eat?” Janessa asked. I’d been eating lunch at the bookstore for two
weeks now.
    “No.”
    “Does he realize you’re
not a vegetarian?”
    “He’s never asked me so he
probably doesn’t know what I am.” I felt a little twinge of annoyance. Why
hadn’t he asked me? I had just as much right to my meat as he did to his veggie
paste. “I guess we should have this discussion,” I said. “It’s fine if he wants
to eat that way, but I’m getting tired of it.”
    I’d had a couple of annoyed
twinges lately. The first had come when Matt was walking me to the front door
after a bland lunch of bean sprout, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. He actually
had the nerve to call it a BLT. That wasn’t disappointing at all. On the front
porch, he leaned against the railing and looked across the street.
    “I was thinking you might
as well plan on lunch every day. Unless one of us needs to cancel for work, of
course.”
    My initial