Free Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked by Derek Landy

make a note of it. It sounds like Lament and his friends were Black Ops, the same as our Dead Men, or Guild’s Exigency Mages, but in peacetime. The dirty jobs that have to be done. They went in to take down Argeddion and whatever happened has been wiped from official records. Meritorious covered it up.”
    “Not the first time,” Ghastly murmured.
    “But wouldn’t that mean Argeddion is dead?” asked Valkyrie. “If they went in and failed, Meritorious would have just sent someone else. He’d probably have sent you. But he didn’t.”
    Skulduggery nodded. “Which would seem to indicate that it was mission accomplished.”
    Ravel shifted in his chair. “So if everyone who knew about this mission is now dead, where does that leave us?”
    “Maybe not everyone,” Skulduggery countered. “Lament may have been killed, maybe most of the others, but there’s no reason to think there wasn’t a survivor who reported back to Meritorious when it was done.”
    Valkyrie looked at him. “So we need to find out who else was in Lament’s group. How do we do that?”
    Skulduggery put his hat on. “In order to find a man’s friends, who are the best people to ask?”
    Valkyrie smiled. “His enemies.”

ammer Lane Gaol was, to all outside appearances, a small house on the border of Laois and Offaly that stood with its front door open. There were a few dead trees out front, and a garage in the back, and plenty of mud all around. And inside was one of the last men arrested by Tyren Lament.
    The Bentley splashed through puddles on the uneven road and pulled up. They got out, and Skulduggery didn’t bother with his façade as an old man wandered over.
    “Hi there,” the old man said. “Lost, are you?”
    “You really think we’re lost?” Skulduggery asked. “You really think we’re civilians just passing through, one of whom happens to be a skeleton?”
    “Oh, yeah,” said the old man. “Yeah, that kind of gives the whole game away, doesn’t it? Suppose you’re wanting to visit the prison, then.”
    “I suppose we are.”
    “Stay right here, I’ll put the call through. What’d you say your names were?”
    “Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain.”
    “Pleasant and Cain,” said the old man, nodding. “And you have an appointment?”
    “Yes, we do.”
    “Be right back.”
    He shuffled off into the garage, and Valkyrie looked at the little house with its open door. It shimmered slightly, like it was caught in a heat haze.
    “Why’s it doing that?” she asked.
    “I’m not sure,” Skulduggery said. “It could be some kind of projection, or it could be an energy shield of some description.”
    “It’s a little small and, I don’t know, accessible to be a prison, isn’t it? Unless it’s a prison for really tiny criminals who aren’t too bright and who don’t really want to escape.”
    “Just the regular-sized criminals, I’m afraid. And the house would merely be the entrance – the prison is underground.”
    Valkyrie sighed. “Everything is underground. I’m sick of things being underground. Sanctuaries are underground, gaols are underground...” She faltered.
    “Wow,” said Skulduggery. “Two things that are underground. That’s a pretty exhaustive list.”
    “Shut up. All I’m saying is, it’d be nice if there were a base or a headquarters of something that had big windows and a nice view and maybe even a little sunshine every now and then.”
    The old man wandered back. “The warden is ready for you,” he said. “You ever been to Hammer Lane before? The only tricky bit is getting through that front door there. The important thing is not to touch the sides as you walk through. For slender people such as yourselves, this should pose no particular problem. But for other people… ” He shook his head, like he was remembering a personal tragedy.
    “What happens if we touch the sides?” Valkyrie asked, but he was already walking away. She looked at Skulduggery, and motioned to