Free Traffick by Ellen Hopkins

Dana isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s nice.
    Maybe it’s the oxy, or maybe it’s
    because she’s a girl, not in spite
    of that fact, or maybe it’s just because
    I’ve missed being intimate with anyone,
    but the heat of her skin, which is satin
    soft, and the rich perfume of her
    femaleness turns me on completely.
    No, I’ve never been with a woman
    before, but everything feels familiar,
    from the curves of her heavy breasts
    to the invitation between her slim thighs,
    and my mouth and tongue and fingers
    know exactly what to do to pay my debt
    in full. She signals the end with a shudder
    and quiet moan, then draws me
    into her arms, laying my head
    against her chest, where I can hear
    the stutter of her heart. That was
    outstanding. I’ll expect you back
    tomorrow night. When I start to
    question her, she shushes me.
    Those are eighty-milligram oxys,
    and go for thirty a pop. How
    much do you think you’re worth?
    Good question.

A Poem by Andrew McCarran
How Much Is It Worth
    To discover the girl
    who infuses every day
    with light, even when
    she’s not here—it’s enough
    to know she’s woven into your
    life,
    a luminous ribbon.
    A promise of happiness.
    How much can be forgiven,
    when the excuse
    is
    existence, no other way
    to reach tomorrow?
    Morality becomes
    meaningless
    when you’re wandering
    the streets, the way home
    lost to you. Forbidden.
    What is the future
    without
    hope for a rainbow
    on the far side of the storm,
    no hint of sunshine
    to shimmer through the gray
    in a world emptied of
    Eden.

Eden
Last Week
    I chickened out. I swore to
    myself I’d tell Sarah everything
    she wanted to know about
    my background: Boise; Pastor
    Streit, Assembly of God minister,
    not to mention my father; evil, in
    Mama disguise; my younger sister,
    Eve. I hope she’s okay. She always
    was smarter about dealing
    with our parents than I. She’ll be
    a freshman this year, at least
    if she pretends to do exactly
    what Mama tells her, and
    wouldn’t our mother be surprised
    to know that my little sister
    is every bit as rebellious as I am?
    Was. The rebellion has kind of
    been shaken out of me. Damn.
    That thought makes me sad,
    because it means Mama won.
    So yeah, I took the coward’s way
    out. Kept my mouth shut, and
    now I regret it, mostly because
    I just got another e-mail from Andrew.
    He’s the only person in the whole
    world who can help me rebuild
    my confidence, which makes
    perfect sense, since he was the one
    who built it for me in the first place.
    Knowing he thought me worthy
    of his love was all I ever needed.
    And now, he cyber promises
    he’ll love me, no matter what.
    My beautiful Eden. Desperation
    drives people to places they’d never
    ever go otherwise. Whatever
    horrors you suffered in the desert,
    whatever lengths you decided
    were necessary to remove yourself
    from that place, I stand firmly
    in your corner. You don’t need
    forgiveness. The person I must
    learn to forgive is myself. I could
    see trouble brewing, and I chose
    to love you selfishly. I won’t make
    that mistake in the future. I promise.
    I’d give everything I own to hold
    you again. Tell me how to find you.
    Tell me what I have to do to get
    you back in my life. Your Andrew.

My Andrew
    Straightforward, like Andrew
    himself. I wish I could believe
    it can be as easy as telling him
    where to find me. Come to Vegas.
    I’ll meet you just off the strip,
    where I once gave a tooth-impaired
    guy a BJ for twenty dollars.
    Of course, if you want oral sex, no
    charge other than your continued
    misplaced faith in me. In us.
    I need to be pragmatic. Believing
    in miracles is what led me here
    to start with. “Hey, Almighty, giving
    source of love, please bless the unlikely
    love I’ve found with Andrew.
    Remember how I asked you that,
    not even a year ago? Remember the faith
    I invested in you, despite the example
    my father, ‘your