Free Wrecked (The Blackened Window) by Corrine A. Silver

give me a real reason to need a safeword.
    We got to the car and he opened the door for me, helping me into my seat and leaning down so his face was level with mine while he buckled my seat belt. He was so close, I could smell his goodness and another wave of lust washed over me. I wanted to lick him. I felt myself take a deep breath and sigh. He looked at me and I think he knew. He had to know. How could he not know? It was overwhelming, so big inside me. He closed my door and my mind cleared a little.
    When he got in the driver’s side, he turned the radio on and this perfect song was playing. The singer was voicing so many things that I was thinking and at one point, I’m sure that Xander chuckled. When the song ended, he changed the station to something a little mellower, some nineties emo music, The Cure or Depeche Mode. At a red light, he rested his hand around the back of my neck and gave the lightest pressure as the light turned green and he went back to driving.
    We got to my apartment, and I stupidly realized that I hadn’t said anything since the restaurant. I’d been caught up in my own thoughts.
    “Oh God, sorry I’ve been so quiet! I was just thinking about everything we talked about and I’m so tired all of a sudden. You’ve been quiet too. Everything okay?”
    “I was just watching you. I’ll walk you to your door.” He got out and came around for me. I was thankful for it because I was suddenly exhausted. He helped me out and walked me to the door, with his hand on my back again.
    “Do you want to come up for a drink?” Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say when I’m actually saying I want to screw you? I fumbled with the keys to open the door. He pulled the door open for me.
    “I’ll walk you up, but then I’m going.”
    Crushed! We were up the stairs way too fast. I didn’t want the night to be over, but I was stifling a yawn.
    “Are you sure you won’t come in?”
    “Baby girl, it’s time for you to sleep. And I was serious about what I said. The first year of medical school is a lot by itself, let alone with a relationship, even if it’s only vanilla. And I’m not so simple as vanilla. I want you to really think about what you can handle.”
    What the fuck does vanilla mean?
    “Okay, well, I had a great time. It was…educational.” I pushed up to my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, whispering, “Thanks, Xander.”
    He grabbed me around the waist, holding my body tight to his, one hand snaking up to the back of my neck, turning my head so he could kiss me. He pressed his lips against mine, softly at first, but with more pressure then just the slightest lick against my lips. I felt my body go slack against his, surrendering. I opened my lips and started to kiss him back, reaching up to drape my arms around his neck. I felt more than heard the low growl-groan in his chest as he opened his mouth and kissed me deeply, our tongues meeting and touching. His mouth was just right and he tasted sweet from his pie, but the bitter undertone of coffee was there too. Another low sound from his throat, but this one sounded more like regret and he pulled away from me.
    “Goodnight, baby girl.” He turned and jogged down the stairs. I watched him, noticing he had a great ass that I hadn’t really seen before. At the bottom of the stairs, he turned around and looked back up to me, “Girl, go put yourself to bed. Now.” Even from my distance, I could see twitch in his jaw. I couldn’t tell if it was anger or amusement or something else altogether, but whatever it was, it gave me nervous butterflies in my stomach and a smile blossomed on my face.
    “Okay, Boss. Goodnight.” I blew him a kiss and scurried inside, only catching the faintest glimpse of the smile quirking the corner of his mouth before I turned away.
    Once inside my apartment, I couldn’t stop thinking of him and what he had said about what dating him is like.
    Was he just trying to give me the brush-off, that thing guys do where