Free Elvis and the Underdogs by Jenny Lee Page A

turned around. “Do you want any water? Or a cookie?”
    Just because he was being rude to me didn’t mean I had to stoop to his level. My mom raised me to be a polite host, no matter what the circumstances. I’d probably be cranky if I’d had to ride in a cage for two days too.
    â€œA water and a cookie sounds delightful. Chilled and flat if possible. Thank you, Benjamin. It’s very kind of you to offer.”
    â€œAren’t all cookies flat?”
    â€œPardon me?”
    â€œYou said you wanted a flat cookie, and I was saying, aren’t cookies flat?”
    â€œI was talking about the water, flat, not bubbly. Bubbly water makes me sneeze.”
    I was about to open my mouth to respond, but I decided this was one conversation that had already gone on long enough. I headed to the kitchen, where my mom was sitting at the kitchen table, talking on the phone while eating a pudding cup.
    â€œMom. Hey, Mom. Mom. Yoo-hoo, Mom. Mom? Mom! Mooooommmmm!”
    â€œBenji, I’m on the phone! Shhhhhhh.”
    â€œSorry, but this is important. It’s about the dog.”
    â€œDid he pee on my carpet?”
    â€œNo. But I need to talk to you about him.”
    â€œWhat is it?”
    â€œWe did get the wrong dog. And you’re never going to believe this, but the dog we got belongs to the president.”
    â€œWhat are you talking about? What president?”
    â€œThe president of the United States.”
    â€œBenji, what on earth are you saying? I don’t have time for jokes. I’m on the phone. Of course, I’ve been on hold for the last five minutes.”
    â€œMom, I’m telling you they sent us the wrong dog by mistake, because the dog we have, you know, the enormous black one that is in our living room, he’s the president’s dog. You know, as in the president of the United States of America’s dog.”
    â€œHow do you know?”
    â€œThe dog told me.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œThe dog. He just told me he’s the president’s new dog. Anyway, I’m glad he’s not mine, because he’s kind of snooty when he talks. Hey, did you know that French fries came from Belgium and not France?”
    My mom dropped the phone. As I reached over to pick it up for her, she scooped me up in her arms and ran around the kitchen, grabbing her purse and looking for her keys. I had no idea what was happening. The first thing that popped into my head was earthquake, tornado, or hurricane. I’m not sure why, but I’m just telling you what I was thinking, because honestly, why else would she pick me up and throw me over her shoulder if it wasn’t some sort of major emergency? I hear forest animals can sense when big danger is coming, like a fire, even from miles and miles away, and they have the instinct to run. So if my mom really was a mama bear in a former life, then it makes sense that she would have this skill too. Her yelling caused Parker Elvis Pembroke to run into the kitchen, which only made her scream again, and right in my ear, because he startled her when he came galloping into the kitchen.
    â€œOh, well, I guess you should come too,” she said to Elvis.
    He barked in response, and I immediately wondered why he didn’t talk to her like he talked to me. Soon we were in my mom’s SUV, driving really fast. She was breaking every speed limit.
    â€œMom, hey, Mom. Mom. Yoo-hoo, Mom. Mom? Mom! Mooooommmmm! What’s going on? Where are we going?”
    â€œWe’re going to the emergency room.”
    â€œWhat’s wrong? Are you sick? Do you not feel well?” I was scared. As much as I’m not a fan of being sick myself, the thought of something wrong with my mom terrified me. She never got sick. I don’t even remember her ever getting a cold. My theory is that germs want to stay on her good side. Here’s the deal with my mom. You always want her on your team. The twins didn’t get