Free Elvis and the Underdogs by Jenny Lee Page B

their killer competitive streaks from my dad, that’s for sure.
    She didn’t answer me, but just seeing her white knuckles on the steering wheel made me sit back, close my eyes, and try to take a few deep breaths. Whenever my mom is this stressed, I get stressed, which brings on either one of my fainting spells, or worse, an asthma attack.
    Meanwhile, Elvis just sat quietly in the seat next to me. He was so tall, his head touched the roof of the car.
    â€œBenjamin, are you okay? Are you feeling like you’re going to faint again?” When he asked, his tone was actually the nicest it had been since he’d arrived.
    â€œWhy is he whining like that?” my mother yelled again. “Oh my God, is something happening? What’s happening? Is he trying to tell us something? Do something, you dumb dog!”
    â€œI don’t know what’s going on,” I whispered to Elvis. “We’re going to the hospital. I think my mom is sick.”
    â€œWhy do you think she’s sick? I believe she thinks you’re sick, which is why she’s acting so erratic. I’m actually impressed with her driving skills, except for the fact that she keeps running stop signs. She seems to be under great duress.”
    â€œDuress? What’s that mean? Hey, do you think you could talk on a ten-year-old-kid level versus a president-of-the-United-States level?”
    â€œFine. Duress means she’s under stress or strain.”
    â€œWell, I don’t need you to tell me that. I’ve got eyes, you know. Plus she’s my mom.”
    He leaned over and licked my face again, his giant pink tongue slobbering all over me.
    â€œUchhhhh, what was that for?”
    â€œI wanted to see if you had a fever. You don’t.”
    â€œWhy don’t you lick her? I’m fine. She’s the one duressing everywhere. Maybe she’s the one with a fever. Maybe she’s got meningitis?”
    Suddenly we screeched to a halt, and Parker Elvis Pembroke was caught off guard. He smashed his face into the back of the front seat. His front paws slid off the seat and onto the floorboard. I tried to disguise my laughter with fake coughing.
    I looked out the window and saw that we were parked right by the emergency room. Wow, she never does this, I thought. It must be serious. She usually parks on level B and then thinks she parked on level C, and then we walk around the parking garage with her muttering under her breath for about twenty minutes or so. Anyway, so she jumped out of the car, and so did I, but I was on the other side of the car. She ran around the car toward me and picked me up in her arms like I weighed twenty pounds.
    â€œHello, people, we’ve got an emergency here! Help us!” she yelled.

6
    Dr. Helen walked into a small, curtained-off section of the ER that barely fit the gurney, my mom, and Elvis (okay, it didn’t actually fit Elvis, because his giant furry tail went under the curtain into the next section). She looked at me to make sure I was all in one piece and wasn’t covered in blood, then looked at my mom, who was clutching two empty candy bar wrappers. Then she looked at Elvis; then she looked back at my mom and opened her mouth to speak, but before any words came out of her mouth, she turned her head to look back at Elvis again. He’s a dog who’s totally worth a double take.

    â€œNow who is this handsome big fellow?” she asked, leaning down to pet Elvis.
    â€œHis name is Parker Elvis Pembroke IV, but I’m calling him Elvis.”
    Parker Elvis Pembroke IV shot me a warning look, but what could he do when my mom was so close by? “Come on,” I whispered to him. “Elvis is the coolest name ever.”
    Dr. Helen stood back up. She looked at my mom’s face again, and I guess she’s been a doctor long enough to just know what needs to be done in the most efficient way possible.
    â€œNadine, why don’t you take this big