Free Love Overrated by Latasia Nadia Page B

next morning waking up next to Rashaan. We had spent the night with each other plenty of other times, but last night was the first time that we actually had sex. After he had left, I jumped in the shower and got dressed. I needed to go out and get some me time because my emotions were running all over the place. I decided I would take the bus, go to the cemetery, and speak with my mother. I hadn't been by to see her since me and Britt moved in with Ms. Jackie. I walked slowly to her place of rest and sat down.
      “Hey mommy” I stopped talking and started playing with my fingernails. “I miss you so much. Well we miss you so much. I wish Brittany had had a chance to spend more time with you. You would love the young women we have become. I did it mommy. I graduated high school. I won’t stop here though. I’m going to make something out of life watch and see. I know you see all the bad things that Nate has done to us. Mommy he is so evil,” I felt warm tears start to fall from my face. “He was supposed to love us unconditionally yet he raped and beat us every day. I couldn’t protect my baby sister the way I was supposed to mommy. You probably hate me for that. I’m so sorry mommy! I promise to protect her from this day forward. I will give up my life if that means Brittany will be okay. Can I ask you a question mommy? Why did we have to go through that? Why did you have to leave us? I know if you were here we wouldn’t have went through that because you would have protected us from everything, because that’s what mothers do. When I eventually have children, ma I’m going to protect them with everything inside of me. One night Brittany and I was home alone laying in the dark because Nate hadn’t paid the light bill. He used all his money on crack and liquor, well we was laying in the dark on the living room floor when Nate and his friend East came walking into the house drunk as hell.
       “Wake your asses us and give us some of this young pussy,” Nate said kicking me. I held Brittany closer and whispered to her not to worry. East grabbed me by my hair and pulled me towards the bedroom. I heard Brittany in the living room begging Nate to stop.
      “Let me fucking go you piece of shit” I kicked him in his legs. He still had a good grip on my hair. The more I struggled to get him off me the more he punched me and pulled my hair.
      “Bitch stop struggling or I’m going to fucking kill you,” he said before hitting me in the head with his gun. That was the last thing I remembered before I passed out.
      “Kaylee, please wake up” I faintly heard Brittany crying and begging me to wake up. After a few minutes, I had regained conscious.
      “Where are they?” I asked in a low voice.
       “Sleep” she answered.
       “Listen, we are leaving. I don’t know where we are going, but I refuse to stay here and deal with any of this bullshit.” I told her. She shook her head in agreement, and we left the house that night.
      “That was over six months ago ma. When we first left the house, we had nowhere to go, no food or clothes. I was stealing from the stores so we could eat at least once a day. We would sleep at the train station at night. One day it was pouring raining a nice lady stopped and asked us if we were okay. The rest is history. Ms. Jackie has taken us in and treated us as if we are her children. Her daughter Draya is so cool. She’s a little younger than me, actually, her and Brittany is around the same age. Rashaan is her son, this man ma” I stopped talking and took a deep breath. “I’m really feeling him and whatnot. My heart is so broken, I don’t know what to do. When you passed away, half of my heart broke into two pieces. Then there’s Nate. He broke my heart before I had a chance to give it to another guy. I want to give Rashaan a chance with me, but I’m scared I’m scared of love. The thing is I have low self-esteem that’s to Nate. He would always call me ugly