everything.â
It was a confession and apology rolled into one, but I had nothing to say. Learning the truth about myself, my element, and the history of our colony hadnât made sense of everything. I was still in the dark, just a different kind than before.
âTell me how to control the echo, Father.â
âIt takes timeââ
âWell, I donât
have
time! Griffin could be dead in a couple days. Nyla too, and Dennis, and . . . Rose.â
He made a little sound at the back of his throat. âIâm sorry, son. I know you like her.â
He was trying to be sympathetic, but
like
was a hopelessly inadequate wordâoffensive and thoughtless. It was as if he was undoing everything that had happened over the past few weeks. In his eyes, I was once again that boy standing alone on the beach on Hatteras Island, watching Rose from a distance, wondering if there would ever come a time that sheâd know how I felt about her. And return those feelings.
Well, if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that.
âI know how it feels to have this element,â he said finally. âThe things youâre going through, they arenât unique. As hard as your childhood has been, mine was hard too, in ways you canât imagine.â
âHow so?â
âI grew up with non-elementals, remember? Before the Exodus, we all coexisted. They didnât know my secret, of course, but the only way to preserve it was for me to stay away from everyone. I had to make sure that I didnât touch anyone, and I also had to be careful that no one accidentally touched me. When things were busy, and there were lots of people around, I had to focus on keeping space between me and others, so I wouldnât shock them.â
âDid you used to hurt people?â
âAccidentally, yes. Lots of times. But if it was a one-time thing, they blew it offâcalled it static electricity, or something. But it would make me so nervous. It got to the point that I avoided crowds. I wouldnât play in groups. People thought I was weird. Anti-social. I wasnât weird; I was petrified. And I needed to be to survive the echo.â
âBut you got control of it,â I pressed.
âIâll get to that, I promise.â He gave a deep sigh. âThere was a girl I knewâquiet, like me. Kept to herself. We became friends. We were both sixteen, and even though I knew I should keep away, I liked her.
Really
liked her. We began spending all our time together. And then, one day, she tried to kiss me. I knew what she was going to do a moment before it happened, and I panicked. I lost all control of my pulse. She didnât even get in a kiss before I pushed her away. She felt the echo, the pain. I think she wanted an explanation. And then, she didnâtâshe just gathered up her stuff and left. Never spoke to me again. Three years later, I fell in love with your mother. And my only regret is that I didnât have the strength to stay away from that girl when I knew it was the right thing for both of us.â
âSo youâre saying I should stay away from Rose?â
âNo! Not at all. Iâm saying that youâre
lucky
in one respect: Rose knows who you are. She knows what youâll do to her, and she likes you anyway. Sheâll work with you, Thomas. Youâll deal with it together.â
âI donât want to
deal
with it. I want the echo to stop.â
âIt wonât stââ
âThatâs a lie. You and Mother had three children, so donât pretend you never touched.â
âOf course we touched. And we tried every trick we could to make it all right. At first, weâd combine elements, so that my echo passed right through her. But touching someone isnât the same when your mind is on something else.â I didnât tell him that I was already well aware of that. âAfter a while, Iâd try to focus on