Free Renegade by Antony John Page A

everything.”
    It was a confession and apology rolled into one, but I had nothing to say. Learning the truth about myself, my element, and the history of our colony hadn’t made sense of everything. I was still in the dark, just a different kind than before.
    â€œTell me how to control the echo, Father.”
    â€œIt takes time—”
    â€œWell, I don’t
have
time! Griffin could be dead in a couple days. Nyla too, and Dennis, and . . . Rose.”
    He made a little sound at the back of his throat. “I’m sorry, son. I know you like her.”
    He was trying to be sympathetic, but
like
was a hopelessly inadequate word—offensive and thoughtless. It was as if he was undoing everything that had happened over the past few weeks. In his eyes, I was once again that boy standing alone on the beach on Hatteras Island, watching Rose from a distance, wondering if there would ever come a time that she’d know how I felt about her. And return those feelings.
    Well, if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that.
    â€œI know how it feels to have this element,” he said finally. “The things you’re going through, they aren’t unique. As hard as your childhood has been, mine was hard too, in ways you can’t imagine.”
    â€œHow so?”
    â€œI grew up with non-elementals, remember? Before the Exodus, we all coexisted. They didn’t know my secret, of course, but the only way to preserve it was for me to stay away from everyone. I had to make sure that I didn’t touch anyone, and I also had to be careful that no one accidentally touched me. When things were busy, and there were lots of people around, I had to focus on keeping space between me and others, so I wouldn’t shock them.”
    â€œDid you used to hurt people?”
    â€œAccidentally, yes. Lots of times. But if it was a one-time thing, they blew it off—called it static electricity, or something. But it would make me so nervous. It got to the point that I avoided crowds. I wouldn’t play in groups. People thought I was weird. Anti-social. I wasn’t weird; I was petrified. And I needed to be to survive the echo.”
    â€œBut you got control of it,” I pressed.
    â€œI’ll get to that, I promise.” He gave a deep sigh. “There was a girl I knew—quiet, like me. Kept to herself. We became friends. We were both sixteen, and even though I knew I should keep away, I liked her.
Really
liked her. We began spending all our time together. And then, one day, she tried to kiss me. I knew what she was going to do a moment before it happened, and I panicked. I lost all control of my pulse. She didn’t even get in a kiss before I pushed her away. She felt the echo, the pain. I think she wanted an explanation. And then, she didn’t—she just gathered up her stuff and left. Never spoke to me again. Three years later, I fell in love with your mother. And my only regret is that I didn’t have the strength to stay away from that girl when I knew it was the right thing for both of us.”
    â€œSo you’re saying I should stay away from Rose?”
    â€œNo! Not at all. I’m saying that you’re
lucky
in one respect: Rose knows who you are. She knows what you’ll do to her, and she likes you anyway. She’ll work with you, Thomas. You’ll deal with it together.”
    â€œI don’t want to
deal
with it. I want the echo to stop.”
    â€œIt won’t st—”
    â€œThat’s a lie. You and Mother had three children, so don’t pretend you never touched.”
    â€œOf course we touched. And we tried every trick we could to make it all right. At first, we’d combine elements, so that my echo passed right through her. But touching someone isn’t the same when your mind is on something else.” I didn’t tell him that I was already well aware of that. “After a while, I’d try to focus on