my pulse, keeping it slow. Thatâs when things began to change for us. Everything got better.â
âSo I should focus on slowing down my pulse?â
He hesitated. âI guess it would help, yes.â
âBut youâre not sure.â
When he spoke again, he looked defeated. âYour element is so much more powerful than mine, Thomas. Iâve never experienced what you can do . . . the power you produce, the way you completely take over other peopleâs elements. Iâve never had to suppress that power either. And I wonât lie to youâIâm not sure I ever could.â
He closed his eyes and turned away. I played his words over and over in my mind, searching for another meaning, a conclusion I could bear to face. But I knew precisely what he was saying: If Rose had been exposed to the Plague, which seemed almost certain, Iâd spend the next few days watching her grow sicker and die, unable to hold and comfort her.
âHey,â he said, watching me. âYou saved us all, Thomas. I need you to remember that. Saved us from Dare, and saved us from Sumter. For sixteen years, we broke you down, and look at you nowâstrongest of all of us. Iâm so proud of you. None of us deserve for you to be the boy you are.â
He wanted a smile from me, or at least an acknowledgment of what Iâd done. But in my mind, I was still focused on Rose. My time with her was going to be over before it had even truly begun.
CHAPTER 13
I hadnât meant to hurt Alice, and I needed to apologize to her. Plus, she knew better than anyone what it was like to exist on the edges of our colony, and was more likely to let me combine with her. Weâd be reaching Roanoke soon, probably by the following morning, and I still had no idea how to control the flow of my element. What use was our greatest power when it was as likely to destroy us as the pirates weâd be fighting?
Alice wasnât on deck. She wasnât poring over maps in the radio room. She wasnât in any of the cabins, as far as I could tell. So I made my way to the galley. Faint voices came from insideâone male, one female.
I tried the door, but it was locked. âAlice?â
There were sounds of movement, but no answer.
âAlice?â
More scurrying around, and this time, a response: âHold on.â
I shook the door, but it wouldnât budge. A moment later, Alice opened it. âWhat?â she demanded.
So much for apologizing. As if to emphasize how much she didnât appreciate the intrusion, Alice ran a finger across the burned side of her face and squinted her left eye, reminding me of what Iâd done to her. Behind her, Jerren sliced fruit with mechanical regularity.
âI get it,â I said, looking from one to the other. âIâll leave you two alone.â
âWeâre preparing food for everyone.â
I snorted. âSure you are. Youâve always been first to volunteer for meal preparation, Alice. Everyone knows that.â
She produced a thin-lipped smile. âSarcasm. Nice. What are you going to hit me with next, Thom? You going burn me to death with my own element?â
I stepped back. Alice was expert at offending people, but sheâd never turned on me. Weâd had our differences, but sheâd always respected me enough to be up-front about what they were. I still didnât fully understand what was happening between us, but it was clear that she didnât want me around. Why would she, now that she had Jerren? How perfect that they could lock the door and be alone. To talk. To touch.
How perfectly unfair.
I headed straight for Roseâs cabin. Except it wasnât her cabin, of course. It was a place for her to have some company while she waited to die.
The first thing I noticed as I entered was that Marin was tending to Nyla. Rose and Dennis were both sleeping, but Iâd figured that the Guardian would ignore