Free The Balance Thing by Margaret Dumas

her neck.” He gave me a knowing look.
    Vida joined us for the tail end of the conversation. “Max! Connie’s mother is at least sixty, and she barely looks forty-five. Leave her alone!”
    â€œHoney, if she was left alone, she’d look sixty.” Max sipped complacently. “What’s up with you two?”
    Before I could say “Nothing” and glide away, Vida blabbed. “Becks had a date!”
    â€œYes, I heard. The native drums were all over it.”
    â€œHeard what?” Connie appeared out of nowhere, which was her favorite party trick. “What’s going on? How is everybody?” She party-hugged each of us in turn. When she got to Vida, she whispered something in her ear.
    â€œNo, I’m not wearing a sports bra!” Vida extracted herself from Connie’s embrace. “I’m wearing the thing you had sent over from Nordstrom.”
    â€œVida!” Connie’s the only person I know who can yell in a whisper.
    â€œWell, come on! I can’t help it if I’ve got the tits of a twelve-year-old.” Vida tugged at the ice blue silk of her neckline.
    Max opened his mouth to speak and Vida turned on him. “And if you tell me you know a guy who can turn me into a D-cup, I swear I’ll push your face into the crab dip.”
    Max turned his expression into a smile. “I think I’ll go explore the buffet.”
    â€œGet me another slab of pâté,” Vida called after him.
    Â 
    AN HOUR LATER I was shivering on the terrace with Max and Vida. Connie’s parents lived in a Pacific Heights mansion with a stunning view of the bay. We’d slipped away to watch the lights of the Golden Gate through the fog and try to pinpoint when Connie had lost her last semblance of sanity.
    â€œShe seriously sent you a bra?” I asked.
    Vida made a noise that an uncharitable friend might have called a snort. “It came with attachments.”
    Max gave a low whistle. “Dare I ask?”
    Vida sat on the steps and put her chin in her hand. “I can’t wait until this wedding is over and we can have our normal old Connie back.”
    â€œDon’t worry,” Max sat next to her. “The bridal demon is usually exorcized as part of the wedding ceremony.”
    â€œCan we not talk about demons?” I joined them on the cold stone stairs. “I get enough of that at work.”
    Two heads swiveled to stare at me.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œYou’ve never called the Vladima thing work before,” Vida said.
    Max agreed. “You always call it the Vladima thing.”
    I shrugged. “Well, since the little nuclear meltdown masquerading as an interview at PlanetCom, I’m starting to think the Vladima thing isn’t that bad.”
    They digested this. Eventually Vida giggled.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œIf we’re talking nuclear meltdowns, I think the date with Chad wins out over the interview.”
    â€œCan you believe her?” Max asked Vida. He raised his voice in mockery. “‘I thought it was a business meeting!’”
    â€œI hope you two are having fun,” I said.
    â€œOh, yeah.” Vida finished another glass of champagne, and I started wondering if perhaps we should have heeded Connie’s 3 x 5 card.
    â€œWhat I don’t get,” she continued, “is why you didn’t at least sleep with the man.”
    â€œWho?”
    Vida and Max exchanged looks. “‘Who?’” Max mimicked.
    â€œChad!” Vida practically shouted. “This allegedly good-looking guy who was allegedly totally hot for you!”
    â€œHang on,” I protested. “Aren’t you the one who called me date lazy for dating guys just because they’re hot for me?”
    Vida shook her head. “I said you shouldn’t get into a whole relationship with them. I didn’t say you shouldn’t sleep with them.”
    Stunned. I was absolutely