Free 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Ross Petras

because of his patrician good looks
On Abraham Lincoln, Little-Known Accomplishments of:
    It is indeed fitting that we gather here today to pay tribute to Abraham Lincoln, who was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands.
    an unnamed politician in a speech honoring Lincoln, as reported by Senator Morris K. (“Mo”) Udall
On Linkages, Unclear:
    I love California. I grew up in Phoenix.
    Vice-President Dan Quayle
On Locker Rooms, coverage of Athletes In:
    I think we probably expose our players to the media as well as anybody.
    George Perles, Michigan State football coach, on allowing women reporters in the locker room
On Logic, Impeccable:
    I desire what is good. Therefore, everyone who does not agree with me is a traitor.
    George III of England
On Longevity:
    A lot of people my age are dead at the present time.
    Casey Stengel, baseball great, Yankees and Mets manager
On Love Scenes, How to Do:
    Could you get a little closer apart?
    Michael Curtiz, Hollywood director, to two stars
On Lying:
    [It is] not fair to say that I have misinformed Congress or other Cabinet officers. I haven’t testified to that. I’ve testified that I withheld information from Congress. And with regard to the Cabinet officers, I didn’t withhold anything from them that they didn’t want withheld from them.
    Rear Admiral John Poindexter, in his testimony to a congressional hearing looking into the Iran-Contra affair
On Lying:
    The President misspoke himself.
    attributed to Ron Ziegler, Nixon’s press secretary
On Lying:
    I apologize for lying to you…. I promise I won’t deceive you except in matters of this sort.
    Spiro T. Agnew, Vice-President under Nixon, speaking to reporters about his assertions that he wouldn’t be going to Cambodia. He made this apology on the plane headed to Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

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On Machismo and Pestilence:
    In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent….
    John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early seventies speech, as reported in a contemporary
American Scholar
On Man in Space, Early Predictions of:
    The United States is at peace with all the world, and sustains friendly relations with the rest of mankind.
    President Benjamin Harrison in a speech to Congress
On Manure, Problems with:
    … when floors are wet and slippery with manure, you can have a bad fall.
    from the U. S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration’s booklet, “Safety with Beef Cattle,” 1976
On Mardi Gras:
    Even if they had it in the streets, I wouldn’t go.
    attributed to movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn
On Mayors, Responsibilities of:
    I am not the leader of Washington. I am not the business leader of Washington. I am not the spiritual leader of Washington. I am not the civic leader of Washington. I am not the social leader of Washington. I am the political leader of Washington. That’s where my responsibility ends.
    Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D. C., defending himself against critics who held his lack of leadership partly responsible for the high murder rate in D.C.
On Meat Eating, Greatness and:
    In the whole history of the world, whenever a meat-eating race has gone to war against a non-meat-eating race, the meat eaters won. It produces superior people. We have the books of history.
    Senator Carl Curtis (R-Neb.) during a debate on banning DES as a food additive for livestock, 1975
On Mediocrity:
    Even if he were mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. Don’t they deserve some representation on the court?
    Senator Roman Hruska (R-Neb.), defending Judge Harold Carswell, the first Nixon nominee for the Supreme Court, against charges that he was mediocre
On Mental Illness:
    My boy friend is a split personality—a kind of Jekyll of all trades.
    Dorothy Stickney’s (theater and film actress from the thirties through the fifties) manicurist
On Metaphors, Mixed:
    Since the Government has let the cat out of the bag there is nothing to do but take the bull by the