Free Lauren Ipsum: A Story About Computer Science and Other Improbable Things by Carlos Bueno

people followed him around, shouting over one another, trying to get his attention. It
looked like he barely had time to think.
    Laurie pushed and struggled and wiggled her way to the front of the crowd.
    “Sir? General Euripides? Can you help me?”
    “Eh? Oh, another one. Are you a reader or a writer?”
    “I’m not a reader or a writer. I need you to approve—” Laurie began,
but the General had to go break up an argument.
    “Now what was it you wanted? A reader? Which book?” Euripides asked when he came
back.
    “No, sir. I need—Sir? Hello, sir?”
    Euripides was off to another corner of the room. Laurie tried to get his attention again, but
the crowd kept shoving her out of the way.
    * * *
    Laurie sat on the floor in the hallway and put her head on her knees, exhausted and confused.
Mandelbroccoli, fence-posts, Passes, General This, General That . . . where did it all end? She
could still hear the fighting over who got to use what book next.
    “Those people are so rude,” she grumbled.
    “Why can’t they take turns and share?”
    “Maybe nobody taught them how,” Xor said. “My cousin Rex never liked to
share. Of course, he was forty feet tall and had teeth as long as your arm.”
    “Somebody should teach them. It’s not fair.”
    “Yeah,” Xor said. “Hey, aren’t you Somebody?”
    “Me?”
    “Yeah! I’m pretty sure you are Somebody. Otherwise, you’d be Nobody, and
that wouldn’t make sense to Anybody.”
    “But I’m just a kid. No one pays attention to kids.”
    “So? No one pays attention to me, either,” he said.
    “But that’s what you want, right? To be invisible.”
    “Oh. Yeah.”
    “What are we going to do, Xor?”
    “I dunno. Think. You’re good at that.”
    “No, I’m not,” Laurie muttered.
    “Really? Tinker thought you are. Winsome does, too.”
    Laurie put her head down again and sighed. “I’m just her delivery
girl.”
    “No, you’re her interesting delivery girl,” Xor
said.
    “So?”
    “So you figure out how to go where other people can’t. Remember when you were
arguing with Ponens and Tollens outside of Symbol? I didn’t think you’d find a way past
them. But you did. Same with that scary old lady Jane.”
    “They never caught us, either,” Laurie smiled a little.
    “Not until Custody grabbed you.”
    “And that’s when Winsome saved—oh.”
    “What?”
    “I can’t go back and tell Winsome that I couldn’t even get past the front
door!”
    “Why not?” Xor asked.
    “I just . . . I can’t. She gave me a job, and I have to do it
myself.”
    So with nothing else she could do, and nowhere else she could go, Laurie started to
think.
    She needed an Approval from Euripides so she could get one from Darius. Then, she needed to
use that to get an Approval from General Case, and finally, the Form had to be
signed and countersigned by Basil and Anton. There was something familiar about this Byzantine
chaos. Something Hugh Rustic had told her. Think of an answer, and then look for a problem
that fits.
    Euripides was up to his ears with problems. Everyone wanted to do everything at once. Maybe
she should start there . . .
    * * *
    A half-hour later, Laurie was back in the Office of Records. She didn’t shout, or shove,
or cut in front of anyone. She waited. Eventually one of the books became completely free. Laurie
walked over to it and drew a line on the floor.
    A woman came over to write in the book. Laurie stepped aside and let her work. A few moments
later, a man came up to read from the book.
    “New policy, sir,” said Laurie. “You have to stand on the line until the
first customer is finished.”
    “But I have to look up something on page 1728!”
    “I’m sorry,” she said. “General’s Orders. But you’re
next.”
    “Oh. All right, then.” The man stood carefully on the line. Another person came to
read from page 1024.
    “General’s Orders,” said 1728, pointing to the line. “Don’t
worry. You’re right after