Free Get Smart 6 - And Loving It! by William Johnston Page B

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    Guru Optimo grinned broadly. “No, Sergeant Preston, in the Royal Mounted Police we sit on the horse facing front,” he replied.
    “Speaking of that,” Max said, “there’s a matter I’d like to discuss with you.”
    “I have something to say too,” Brattleboro said.
    Guro Optimo beamed. “I don’t care what your mother says, the light bulb is not an impractical invention—it will keep little children from sticking their fingers in empty sockets.”
    “Yes, well, that’s very interesting,” Max said. “But what I’d like to discuss is renewing your agreement with Control. You promised, you know, that you would join us in our fight against the forces of evil. Now, as we look at it, a promise is a promise. So—”
    “Don’t listen to that gush,” Brattleboro broke in. “A promise isn’t a promise. A promise is a tactic. You didn’t know what you were doing when you made that agreement with Control. They tricked you. Besides, you have a later agreement with KAOS. You promised you would join us in our fight against the forces of good!”
    Guru Optimo looked from Brattleboro to Max, from Max to Brattleboro, confused.
    “I would like to point out,” Max said, “that with us you would have the satisfaction of knowing that you were making the world a better place to live.”
    Guru Optimo brightened.
    “What’s that in comparison to the satisfaction of knowing that you were making the world a better place for you to live? Fooey on everybody else!” Brattleboro countered.
    Guru Optimo glowed.
    “You’re losing him, Max,” 99 warned.
    “Speaking of old movies,” Max said to Guru Optimo, “remember last year’s famous Academy Award loser—‘A Beach Bunny Skins Her Shins at Jones Beach’? Recall what handsome, muscular, high-minded pre-med student Seth O’Scope said to gorgeous, blond, empty-headed apprentice beautician Spray O’Hara when she came staggering up onto the beach with her surf board wrapped around her neck? He said, ‘What doth it profit a man to gain the whole world and flunk social responsibility?’ Think about that.”
    Guru Optimo looked blank.
    “I don’t think that’s an old enough movie, Max,” 99 said.
    “Maybe not. I’ll try again. Speaking of old—”
    “What’s going on here!” a voice behind them roared.
    Max, 99 and Brattleboro turned and found Lucky Bucky Buckley standing in the doorway.
    “You’re just in time,” Max said. “We were playing a game of Trivia, with old movies as the subject. Your question is: In the movie ‘The General Died at Dawn,’ what time was it exactly? We know it was dawn, of course. But at what time exactly did the sun rise on that day?”
    “Guards!” Buckley shouted.
    Max shook his head. “That isn’t even close. Try 5:17 A.M. ”
    “5:17 A.M. ?” Buckley guessed.
    Again, Max shook his head. “You were closer when you said ‘guards!’ ”
    “Zop’em!” Buckley screamed at Guru Optimo.
    A flash of light exploded over Max’s, 99’s and Brattleboro’s heads.
    “Well, that ends the game,” Max said.
    He dived under the bed.
    99 followed him.
    Brattleboro ducked behind the chest of drawers, one drawer of which was missing.
    “Don’t just sit there! Zop!” Lucky Bucky shouted at Guru Optimo.
    Guru Optimo’s head, upside down, appeared over the edge of the bed.
    “Hide your eyes!” Max warned 99.
    There was a flash of light.
    But Max and 99, their eyes shielded by their hands, were unaffected.
    “Grab’em!” they heard Lucky Bucky cry.
    Peeking out, they saw that the guards had arrived.
    The guards dived under the bed after them. Max and 99 crawled out on the other side.
    A flash lighted the room.
    But it was aimed at Brattleboro. And, looking out through the opening where the drawer had been, he caught the flash full in the eye.
    Brattleboro jumped up, then began roaring around the room, throttle wide open.
    The others stared at him.
    He knocked over a table, a floor lamp, the chest of drawers,