Free Reluctance (The Exchange #2) by M. B. Feeney Page A

wish I managed to break his jaw rather than dislocate it.
    Fuck this. I’m done with this stupid journal.
     
    Aiden
     
    —∫∫∫∫—
     
    December 2011
     
    Apparently my anger is an ‘issue’ that needs dealing with. I went into school yesterday and told Mizz . Jones that I wasn’t writing the dumb entries. She tried to reason with me, and I ended up yelling at her. Dad was called into school and when he got back home, gave me a lecture about doing what Mizz . Jones tells me or I lose all privileges at home. So, I have to write something. . .
    So, my seventeenth birthday.
    Taking Jessie out with the money Mom and Dad gave me for my birthday in October was going to be something special. I’d told her to dress up nicely, and Dad even lent me one of his suits. Knowing she preferred it, I ditched my glasses and put in the contacts that irritated my eyes. I wanted it to be perfect; for her, not for me.
    Eight months dating a cheerleader was something I’d never expected to happen to me. Ty was the one all the girls flocked to; especially the hot ones, but for some reason, Jessie Evans chose me, and stayed.
    For the first couple of weeks, I kept waiting for the laughing to start, to be told it was all a joke or a bet, but it never happened. No, things between us only ever got better and better; stronger and stronger. We were in love, and I didn’t care about the stares we still got at school or the whispers about a cheerleader dating a nerd.
    The month before, as an early birthday present, she took me to her parent’s beach house for the weekend. It was just us, and we made the most of it. Having been each other’s firsts, we were still in that ‘raging hormones’ stage and at any chance we could, we’d get down and dirty – her words, not mine.
    I was on a total high for at least a week after we got back. It may have been cold, but the beach house had been amazing. We spent most of the weekend either in bed or in the hot tub. That was an experience, one we repeated again and again. Bubbles certainly add a certain. . . Intensity. Especially, when skin is already flushed from arousal. It was pretty much the perfect weekend.
    We were happy.
    So I thought.
    I. . . I can’t do this. I just. . . Mizz . Jones can bite me. Dad can withdraw as many privileges as he wants. They can’t make me write this stuff down. I’ll go to the meetings, but this shit is personal.
     
    Aiden
     
    —∫∫∫∫—
     
    December 2011
     
    So it seems that my feelings about this entire crappy situation need to be addressed in this little brown book rather than discussed verbally. I think that the whole thing’s a crock of shit, but if I don’t along with it, it could damage my chances of getting into a good college. Mizz . Jones has to write a report which will go in my file. She can’t discuss details unless I give her my permission – yeah, right, but it will divulge if I’m ‘unwilling to work through my problems’.
    It’s frustrating. No matter how much I shout at her in the hopes she’ll yell back; give me a reason to walk away, she’s never once raised her voice. It’s frustrating as hell.
    All I’ve ever wanted to do is go to a damn good college to study world history and get out of this place. Mom and Dad worked hard to save up enough of a decent college fund just in case there was no possibility of a full ride. There is no way in hell I’m going to jeopardize that.
    So, Jessie. My seventeenth birthday was the day she broke my heart.
    I just read that line back and realize it reads so much more dramatically than I planned it to.
    As I mentioned before, that was going to be the night I made it clear how I felt. I’d told her I loved her before then, but I don’t think she’d ever really believed me. I’d even bought one of those eternity rings to give to her. A promise for the future, as it were.
    As far as I knew, I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. It was all I wanted from our relationship,